I was travelling to a small U.S. city for a work trip and was there Tuesday-Thursday. I decided to stay an extra day to have some solo time without my team. I had been spending all day every day with them, for the work sessions, for meals, for free time, and after meals. It was a lot for me as someone who needs alone time to recharge. I already had a massage booked at a local spa so was going to spend most of the day out and about, and only really needed a room to put my stuff and sleep for the night. I decided to go to a hostel since it was MUCH cheaper than getting a hotel room and, like I said, I wasn’t going to spend much time in my room anyway.
When I go to the hostel’s front desk, me and the attendant were making pleasant small talk and she was super appreciative that I had chosen the hostel. She pointed out the community room, kitchen, and a ton of food that was communal. I mentioned that I was leaving the next day and likely wouldn’t be using much of the amenities or community spaces, then asked for a private room with a private bathroom since I wanted the closest thing to a hotel room. She seemed offput by my request, but I know they had plenty of availability since I had called first to check. When she was leading me to my room, I tried to make small talk (which previously has been easy and pleasant), but she was totally silent and didn’t respond to anything I said.
So, AITA for renting a private hostel room but not participating in any of the community offerings? I needed alone time an didn’t think this would offend anyone.
NTA. I’ve booked many a hostel room because it was the most affordable option and not because I wanted to engage with the community aspect. It’s your prerogative.
NTA – But this is strange to me. Private hostel rooms are priced higher than dorm beds so she should have been happy to rent it to you. Something else is amiss.
But they said attendant, not owner. Why would an employee have any dog in this fight in whether someone pays a little bit more for a private versus dorm?
Without knowing anything about the attendant’s motives or thoughts, she was probably energized in promoting the hostels amenities. People usually go to hostels for it’s cheapness primarily but also for more of a communal sense of hanging out and meeting randos.
And you kind of rejected both the amenities and the hostel culture. So what else did she have to offer you? It kind of seemed you were wanting singularity.
Totally fine. I wouldn’t get to worked up about it. NTA
NTA. Next time, say something like, I’m sorry, have I offended you in some way? Then you don’t have to wonder.
NTA – she was giving you what you wanted, solitude, privacy and a space to sleep.
NTA. You’re the one paying. What terrible customer service to be snooty and judgemental to your customer.
Next time maybe just say thank you as opposed to saying you won’t be using the communal amenities. NTA
You could have just said “ok thanks!” And continued your day.
NTA Wanting privacy shouldn’t be offensive, even in a hostel.
Maybe she thought you were implying she was talking too much. Some people get self-conscious and feel judged.
NTA
She probably got annoyed because cleaning and tidying a single room and bathroom costs more money and effort than the collective spaces? It’s the only thing I can think of that would annoyd an employee.
This makes no sense. Why would a front desk person care either way? Are you just assuming or overthinking? Also, I’m 52 and live in the US my whole life and didn’t know we had hostels. 😂
NAH.
What you said sounds like you were shutting down her attempts to help you feel included, so she probably felt awkward carrying on with the small talk.