My aunt F(43) who is well known and respected by so many for her strict and high handed style is someone I really admire and respect a lot.
Growing up I always loved how everyone was always in their best behavior whenever she was around, she was a no nonsense person and never tolerated any form of disrespect.
I’m M (25) a creative and fashion enthusiast who is overly passionate about his work, style and appearance.
The nature of my work requires me to look really good, keep up with modern day fashion trends especially because I’m required to model from time to time. I won’t even hide the fact that this has been my source of income and how I’m able to provide my basic needs.
Recently I ran into my aunt at a family function and she wasn’t happy that I had dread locks on and she wanted me to cut them off instantly at that point. I tried every possible way to explain why I had to go on dreads, and how it aided my fashion and aesthetics, she wasn’t ready to hear an explanation from me so unfortunately I told her no and I wasn’t going to cut off my dreads because it’s a part of me and a symbol of my work. It’s how I’m able to earn and provide for myself without depending on anyone.
AITA?
NTA, at the end of the day it’s your hair and you can do whatever you want with it and you’re an adult.
I’ma be real, so long as you’re not white with dreads. nta it’s your hair and you can do what you want with it. (and the reason I don’t think white ppl should have dreads bc it’s not a hairstyle that our hair supports. white dreads are matted, usually incredibly unclean hair. due to the fact it’s matted. because it does not tightly curl or lock together like real dreads. which can be cleaned.)
This makes so much sense and you don’t have to worry I’m not white with dreads haha
NTA. No one – NO ONE – has the right to demand you change the way you look. Ever.
This is really encouraging. I wish everyone thinks like you do
True. I won’t tolerate any debate about my hair from anyone anymore. I’ll just say my mind is made up thank you
NTA. Your Auntie is way out of line expecting other family members to bow to her like she’s the queen. She most definitely is a Type-A personality who expects to always get her way. She needed to be put in her place and you did a wonderful job with that. She should be supporting you, not belittling you! There may come a time when the dreads have to go but that time is not now so just continue being you.
You’re truly amazing. Like you said they may come a time when the dreads have to go but now is not that time and I will continue being me thank you so much
NTA. Your aunt is TA. She thinks her opinion is the only one. She is bossy, overbearing, and insulting. What you admired as a child doesn’t always mesh with reality once you are an adult and understand the world.
I mean, regardless of the other person, disagreements are part of life. You’re never going to agree with *everyone* in your life always.
And especially when it comes to your own personal style, unless you’re socially inappropriate (like you have BO or some such thing), people can have opinions, but they don’t get to dictate what you do.
One tip from this old lady: when someone comes at you like that, don’t explain. It’s none of their business how you wear your hair or why. I don’t care if it’s your mama or who it is! Just mildly say something like “sorry you don’t like it” (but you’re clearly *not* sorry) and move on. If they keep coming at you, say something like “you’ve made yourself clear, but I’m gonna wear my own hair the way I want.” If they keep going, leave the area (or hang up).
NTA. Keep rocking your locs!
This is the best advice I’ve received in years. I want you to know it means so much to me and I’ll not let you down
Oh, honey, don’t let *yourself* down!
Auntie, this hair makes me money.
If you are prepared to pay me what I am making with this hair, then, I will get it cut this afternoon.
But I am making $x. If you aren’t prepared to cover that, then you can cry me a river. Then I’m gonna need you to build a bridge across that river. Then I’m gonna need you to use that bridge to get over it.
NTA
I mean, you’re an adult. Wear your hair in whatever style or fashion you like. I get you may have been (I think) intimidated by her when you were young, but really, her opinion isn’t relevant here, especially if your hair helps you earn a living.