My neighbor has a 4-year-old, and every time I visit, she insists on giving him candy and chocolate before dinner (Madness!). I tried to let it slide, but it’s unhealthy and ruins his appetite. Yesterday, when he came over, I refused to give him candy before dinner, and my neighbor got mad at me, saying I was ruining the fun. I explained that I just want him to have good habits, but she says I’m controlling and need a life.
Now she’s upset, and our friends and family members are taking her side. I feel like I did the right thing, but maybe I overstepped?
Not your kid, not your call, YTA.
You did a horrendous job explaining the situation considering you mentioned your cousin’s kid in the title but only discuss the neighbors kid in the post. Are you taking your little cousin to your neighbor’s and she’s giving him candy despite your wishes? Is she giving her own child candy and you don’t like it?
YTA. You’re not the parent; it’s not your call. If she were doing something life-threatening, enough to call in CPS, then it’d be appropriate to step in. That is not the case, here.
You’re unclear about the circumstances. If he’s over there by himself, without a parent, then you’re temporarily the parent. In that case, if your neighbor doesn’t like it, she’s welcome to not leave her child with you.
ESH.
It’s okay to say no to candy before dinner at your house. However, you saying you want them to have better habits is you trying to parent someone elses kid and that is not okay.
YTA You way overstepped.
I “just want him to have good habits”
Who are you to say how he should be raised? You don’t get to over ride a parent. You tried to let it slide? How good of you. Please refrain from forcing your parenting thoughts on others.
YTA.
Of course you’re not obligated to give this child candy. But everything else you said you said was a massive overstepping and entitlement and puts you solidly into AH territory.
Your post makes no sense
While you are right about the eating habits, it’s non of your business as it’s not your kid.
i mean this is fabricated at best; but let’s pretend it’s real — i mean neighbor or cousin? cmon get real.
eating candy before dinner is not unhealthy nor does it ruin their appetite. nor is this your child to dictate their actions and you’re being obnoxious. i’d recent going to therapy to unpack your unhealthily relationship with food.
Your cousins or your neighbor. It makes a difference
Mind your own business – it’s not your kid or your decision to make.
The nerve of you – trying to overrule a parent, right in front of them.
Unreal.
YTA.
You’re not an a–hole but let her know that as a guest you expect a meal made for guests needs to be eaten by everyone. Luckily I never to tell people they were teaching their kid bad habits or they can stay home. IMO
Which is it? Your neighbor or your cousin?
NTA. Those rules may fly in her house but not in yours! Tell her to take him home and feed him there if she wants to feed him candy before dinner.