Throwaway. I am 26F boyfriend is 25M. We got stuck in an insane traffic jam. Boyfriend was driving. We were at a standstill. Found out later on they had closed the highway.
I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee and I decided to do the same. It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover.
I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it my boyfriend got all weird.
He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was trans. I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn’t care. I have no beef with trans people!
He said I should squat. Just to put his mind at ease. I said I didn’t want to get my butt and c\*\*ch out on the highway in front of everyone or get pee on my shoes and I just wanted to be quick and clean.
He said he didn’t want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was trans and that I should squat like girls do. I’m dying by this point.
I finally couldn’t hold it anymore and I really didn’t want to show the world my butt so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic. No one could see anything, it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking they would be confused?
When I got back to the car my boyfriend wouldn’t talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency. AITA?
UPDATE: To all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now. And yes there were other red flags. Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up haha
NTA
Your BF is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are trans?
> He said he didn’t want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was trans
And you don’t want people to think your dating someone bigoted and hateful.
This right here. He may not consider himself transphobic (“I don’t hate trans people! I just don’t want to be associated with them or have anyone think I’m with a trans person!”) but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia. Why would he care, unless a) trans women are not women in his eyes or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a trans woman. Also, you’re in a traffic jam. Who the fuck is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matter enough to give two shits about what they think. Not to mention, he’s being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he’s never going to interact with a single person he’s worrying about.
This won’t be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego. And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as “feelings” is also problematic
NTA. Ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with a transphobe
NTA. Your BF would have preferred for every one to see your ass and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain.
Get a better boyfriend.
He also apparently thinks that it’s normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee in order to evaluate them and then analyze who they’re with and their relationship
This has always been my contention in the bathroom debate: if you know what I’m “using” to urinate *you’re* the problem, not me.
This is an instance of somebody telling on themselves. OP needs a better boyfriend. And I need one of those devices.
You have a she-wee! Those are so great for women.
Tell your bf to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand squatting can suck and leaves you exposed.
If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical.
NTA
NTA…next time make hard eye contact and pee in the car as a show of dominance.
Info: Why are you dating a bigot?
He’s insecure and transphobic.
He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort.
NTA, and honestly you can do better than this specimen.
He’s so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health. He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health. You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA.
“Honey, please show all these strangers your cooch and ass so they know I’m not gay, m’kay?”
Weak, very weak.
#This is now a Proctologists Only Orifice
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