For context 27f, I live with my parents. I had to move back in to save money and increasing rent prices, but I’m planning to move with my boyfriend in a few months since he bought a house and we plan on getting engaged.
I saved some money for a lower bleph, so I’ll be getting that in a few weeks. After the surgery, my bf will be picking me up and taking care of me, and I’ll be staying with him for a week. I also took time off work for an “minor elective surgery” (I’m not telling anyone at work either). If I’m not fully healed in a week and still have visible bruising, and they ask, I do plan on just skirting the truth and saying I did some resurfacing under my eyes. I’ll try not to give too much detail. They’re against that too but not as much as plastic surgery.
My parents don’t know any of this. They’re strongly against surgery. they were against my tattoos and laser resurfacing.
I don’t plan on ever telling them – maybe like years down the road. I did tell one other close friend about this and she thinks I’m being an AH since I still live at home. Also note, we’re both Indian so she doesn’t think I should hide anything from my parents :/
Now I feel quite guilty for hiding this. But it’s something I want to do… and I’ve always been very honest with them all my life. I just want to wait years before I tell them.
TLDR I’m hiding cosmetic surgery from my parents and feel guilty
Edit: I should state, I moved back home to save money on my end. I have enough money to buy into a house, go on vacations, emergency fund and have some fun money (e.g cosmetic stuff)
In our culture, it is expected adult children live with them for a long time. In fact, my parents preferred I never moved out. But I moved out because I wanted independence and they still support me either way.
Like I use my money to go on trips at times and they encourage it – I even use it to treat them out and do fun stuff together as a family. They know I can afford rent if I wanted to now.
I help out at home when I can with chores, cooking my own meals, helping them with large bills – and these are still expected I do after I move out (to help my parents financially when I can).
Idk if that makes a difference in it but I’ll stil accept YTA if not.
The only part that would make you TA is if you paid for the surgery. Cosmetic surgery when you can’t afford rent is wasteful spending.
YWBTA if you’re living with them to save money but then using money to have cosmetic surgery.
Is there a reason you don’t want to wait until you move in with your boyfriend in a few months? You’re obviously an adult and can do as you please, but your family dynamic could become uncomfortable since you seem afraid of their reaction. Even if you’re healed by the time you go home, it is likely they will see a difference.
You saved money for plastic surgery instead of moving out? NTA for not telling your parents your own health business but hard side eye
YTA. You live at my home FOR FREE and I find out you having elective surgery will PO me till end of time. And then you plan to disappear for a week and lie/not tell me why???
I would be furious if I ever found out.
saving money but getting an unnecessary cosmetic surgery?
You would be an Ahole. Using your parents to save money by staying with them, then spending that money that they enabled you to save on a surgery that you know they wouldn’t approve of and lying about it!!! Definitely an Ahole move.
Move out then get the surgery. But to do it while using your parents is just wrong.
“ I don’t plan on ever telling them – maybe like years down the road.”
It sounds like this is a procedure on your face….you don’t think they’ll notice? And if they don’t notice then what was the point in the surgery if not to look different?
ETA YTA if you don’t think your parents will notice your facial surgery and if you’ve lived with them to save for this.
YTA for getting any plastic surgery at your age, but especially if you are not financially independent.
If you get rid of the bags under your eyes at age 27, you’ll want to do it again at age 32, and 37, etc.
Learn to love yourself as you are.
YTA. If I were your parents I would feel taken advantage of.
This generation is cooked; yes, you ATH if you’re saving money living with your parents but spending money on cosmetic surgery. Is this a serious question????? This is what boomers are talking about when they say all the younger generations live outside their means.
YTA
“I’m moving back home to save money”
Followed by
“I saved up for some cosmetic surgery.”
Your parents agreed you could move back home, because they thought you needed to, not so that you could have your face adjusted.
Absolutely, YTA. “Saving money” by living with parents, but spending money at the same time on vanity surgeries? Also, you aren’t honest with yourself, much less your parents.
YTA for wasting money on this. Your parents have helped support you so you can be independent. You aren’t independent and you slap them in the face by wasting this money you have saved.
You should be planning to use that money on your new household or saving toward your wedding.
If you were independent, you could have all the work done you want without telling anyone.