AITA sister had a child thats now 2 years old, and I don’t like being around the kid.
Basically my sister 35 and me 24 were best friends and hung out 24/7 till she started dating a man who was in jail.
They met online and as soon as he got out they moved in together and she kinda fell off the earth, then around 9 months later (ironic) she fell pregnant and moved back to town where we hung-out more but still not as often , while she was pregnant, I had a very traumatic baby related thing happen to me.
After that I couldn’t be around her as seeing her pregnant made me constantly feel ill, as soon as she gave birth I couldn’t see the baby without feeling mentally a physically ill.
Now 2 years later Ive maybe seen her and the kid 5 times since the kid was born, I have also moved across the country for school.
As of lately my sister’s been upset and saying I never talk to her or want to call/ see her anymore. Which is kinda true, but I want my sister and to talk, just when I do it’s always about her baby, or basically her forcing me to talk to the baby, well toddler, on FaceTime. But I genuinely do not like babies anymore to the point I get angry or sick seeing them. I physically cannot interact with a baby, idk what to say? Like do I ask the baby where she gets her clothes and if she finds any boys cute 😂.
After my traumatic experience I genuinely don’t understand how to talk to babies, I get physically ill seeing babies, and can’t eat around babies at restaurants unless they’re At least 4.
I’ve recently gotten better with kids mostly interacting with strangers kids or friends kids when they randomly come up to me because for some reason kids love me. But when it comes to my sister I still can’t be around or talk to her kid same goes for my other sister who had a baby a month after my original sister’s. I think its because they were pregnant during a traumatic time in my life.
Am I the ahole for not seeing my sister or talking to her as often?
NTA. What you’re describing the physical and emotional reaction tied specifically to your sisters and their babies, sounds like a trauma response, not a personality flaw. You’re not avoiding your sister because you hate her, you’re struggling with something that happened to you that she doesn’t fully know about.
YTA. You need therapy because it’s almost impossible to avoid being around babies. Plus you are hurting your family members. That is not normal
NTA exactly but you need therapy for whatever baby related trauma happened if it’s affecting you this much.
YTA: get therapy
*Therapy*
Dude, you need to get some help before you find yourself locked in your house unable to go out in public. Kids are out in the world, and you can’t always avoid them. YTA if you don’t do something about this. I feel bad for your sister.
Info: are you doing anything to process and move past the baby-related trauma?
If not, and you’ve just decided to let your sisters fall out of your life because of that trauma (and presumably will do the same with other friends who have babies down the road) – asshole is probably too strong but you’re definitely costing all of you a lot of love and connection in order to avoid dealing with your trauma. Treating your trauma as a given that defines your life and relationships is self-defeating and honestly a little self-centered (and yes, I am saying this as a trauma survivor who has spent aloooot of time learning to process and heal. I know how hard it is. I also know why it matters).
If yes, then NTA and your sisters need to give you time.
YTA. It’s totally fine to not like kids or want to be around them, but getting physically ill and refusing to have a relationship with your sister because you dislike her baby so much is weird. As others are saying, you need therapy.
Well I skuld say nobody is in the right or wrong. You have your feelings and your sister hers. But it sounds like you need therapy. I am guessing you had a miscarriage or something similar. Whatever happens it has affected you to the pout where you can’t have a relationship with your sister and your nephew. I don’t think that is healthy. You said yourself that you used to be really close. Life is changing and you will have to get used your sisters life revolving around her kid. You never going to talk to her until the kid is grown? She won’t wait for you if I am guessing.
The real question is, do you want to have a relationship with your sister or not? Then work on the problem from there. If you don’t you don’t have to but I don’t think the tramuatic thing you went through should be the reason for your distance.
Yes YTA, get some therapy. It’s your nibling as much as her kid. This is your family, fix it.
Yta. You won’t bother getting therapy for your issue about kids (by the way kids are humans and you were one for 18 years) for your sister. But mark my words once you get pregnant again you will suddenly feel better about kids and fully expect your sister to supper you and get to know your child 100%. Grow up take accountability and get therapy. Be a good sister.
Dude see a therapist, yoi sound like and asshole
I think I need to know the baby related trauma before I can form an opinion. But you also have a weird expectation for what an interaction with a child should be. So… Yeaaaah
Yta. Your nieces and/or nephews are human beings and part of your family. Find a pro to help you with that extreme trauma reaction, that’s way above Reddit’s pay grade. I’m sorry something bad happened to you but it’s not the fault of babies.