Recently it was my birthday and I invited a boy (for context, I really liked him during a crisis in my life and I clung to him hoping something would happen, but it didn’t, and my friends thought I was naive and that I was humiliating myself. Some time later I stopped liking him and he was no longer in my life). This boy spoke badly about a friend of mine to her boss (who was also his boss and she kind of stole his job). I invited him because I was also inviting his friends, who are also my friends, and I wanted to avoid the headache of him complaining about me or even gossiping about me and stuff. That day I overheard friend B defending friend A from something that was being said in a group about their boss (that he was a womanizer and a bad person, and friend B said that friend A had a good heart and didn’t see it that way). Later that night I told my friend A about it and she said, "At least someone defended me." She said this to me on my birthday and I really didn’t like it, firstly because in that moment I was receiving people for my party and wasn’t participating in that conversation, and secondly because in that context they weren’t talking about her but about the boss. That moment wasn’t about her. Was I the jerk in that situation?
NTA. You were hosting your birthday and didn’t do anything wrong by not jumping into that conversation.
Later that night I told my friend A about it and she said, “At least someone defended me.”
Op started the conversation
You’re NTA. You were hosting your birthday and weren’t even part of that conversation.
Later that night I told my friend A about it and she said, “At least someone defended me.”
you invited a boy…who treated your friend badly…because you didnt want him “complaining about you and gossiping about you and stuff”?
great reason to invite someone, he sounds like a real winner…
INFO: Why did you even bother telling Friend A about this? It doesn’t sound like she was being accused of anything (the boss was).
ESH. You should have let the friend know that boy would be coming over, and you should have let the boy know the friend would be there. That way, they can simply choose not to come if they can’t handle seeing each other.
and then for acting like children and getting everyone involved in their drama.
YTA for inviting this guy knowing what kind of person he is.
Huh?