This happened this morning when I (22M) was leaving work.
In my city, trains have a women-only car during specific hours to help prevent harassment. The rule is that the car is restricted from 6:00 to 9:00 AM and 5:00 to 8:00 PM. Outside those hours, it becomes a normal car like the rest of the train.
At around 9:02 AM, I got on the train and found an empty seat (no way!), so I sat down. I honestly hadn’t even noticed it was the women-only car at first.
Almost immediately, a girl (16-ish F) in the car told me pretty bluntly: “This is the women’s car, you need to leave.”
I checked the time and said something like, “It’s already 9:02 though.”
She replied, “I don’t care, there are still only women here.”
(Strangely enough, I was in fact the only man who had entered that car)
I told her that if she wanted, she could call a guard at the next station and ask them to remove me (or any man who might enter the car at that station), because the rule only applies until 9:00. I wasn’t trying to start a fight, but I also didn’t think I was doing anything wrong, so I stayed where I was.
She didn’t call anyone, but she kept complaining out loud to her friend about how man have no respect for woman and how woman are never safe.
AITA?
NTA, it was no longer the women only car.
Obviously it was no longer only women there as you were present.
YTA. Yes, I know it was 9:02, but it was still the Women’s car. Much like if you were in a seat that a disabled person or pregnant woman needed, when asked you should get up and move.
Alternately, you could have de-escalated with “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize, and it is after 9AM. Would it be ok if I sat here anyway?” If they insisted, you still move, but you might have gotten a much better response than the method you took here.
Seats for disabled people don’t operate on designated schedules. What a horrible comparison.
[removed]
NTA
*Someone* is going to be the first man to sit in the women’s car after it’s unrestricted. As long as you weren’t being a creep I don’t see the problem.
I will say though, if that’s the policy and you know it that well, and you presumably know which cars are restricted and where they stop in relation to the station platform, it’s a bit… unusual that you happened to go there right when the time ended.
Yes. This is not deep. Get out of the women’s car.
It’s a sad reality that such a car has to exist.
YTA
Would it have been such a big deal for you to move cars? It was obviously a women only car when the train started and the women in it expected it to be women only. No need for you to be an AH. Just move cars. It’s sad enough that such cars have to exist. Guessing you are part of the reason they exist.
kinda YTA here. Like, I get the whole “rules are rules” thing, but if the vibe is off and you’re the only dude in a women-only car, maybe just dip? It’s not just about legality, it’s about reading the room, y’know? Respect goes both ways. 🥴
YTA
Why are you following the rules? Is it because it’s been prohibited for you to sit there or because you’re a decent human who genuinely wants women to feel comfortable?
I should hope it’s the later, in which case, please engage your common sense and realise that you were intruding into a woman only space at that point in time regardless of the rules, and that the best way to make them comfortable is to have the decency to leave that carriage and put their feeling of safety above your comfort of sitting down. A reminder that just because you CAN doesn’t than you SHOULD
YTA and you were defiant about it, too. It’s guys like you who contribute to the issue of males harassing women because you also lack respect. Instead of being respectful and simply leaving, you contributed to overpowering women in a spot dedicated to women’s safety. Sure, it was 9:02, but it’s really the principle of the matter. Your refusal to read the room and acknowledge a request by a woman in this spot is AH behavior.
If a man had aggressively told a woman to leave a male only car, you best believe she would be forced to leave because her safety would be impacted. Yours was not. If you don’t see your part in this power struggle, then do everyone a favor and avoid women only designations.
YTA
It truly shows what kind of man you are in that you need to worry about a time constraint of a women only car, not the fact that it exists for a reason and women should have the right to commute without safety concerns.
“(Strangely enough, I was in fact the only man who had entered that car)”. Maybe because DECENT men try to honor intention of the car no matter what time it is and demonstrate basic respect for women.
YTA for how you handled this.
You don’t list your age, but especially if you’re older than this girl the response you gave will always come across as a creepy on top of being some weird power-play. You could do to assert yourself and not be a dick.
YTA and you also did not break any rules, both of these things can be true at the same time. Those women chose to travel in that cart for a reason, and while you were still allowed to be there, I feel like there was probably a nicer way to handle this situation that did not involve telling a 16ish y.o. girl who was clearly uncomfortable that she is welcome to call someone to remove you.
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