I was invited 2 days ago to go to my friends house (S for purpose of this conversation) to watch the football. We did not speak in between about the meet-up and we did not specify a time to meet up either. I am an arsenal fan and the kick off for Arsenal’s game was 5.45pm.
My friend who invited me also invited our other friend (call him C for the purpose of this post) and asked me to call C to arrange the visit. I msged C, see the conversation below:
Me: Good morning, wanted to check what time you going to S’s house? (9.53am)
C: Aiming to get there for 6.30pm. Will be at yours at 6.15pm (I thumbs up this msg). (4.19pm)
Me: The match is at 5.45pm btw (4.20pm)
After this, I turned up at S’s house at 6pm on Wednesday, hoping to watch the 5.45pm game. I didn’t wait for C, i did not message S or C about going to S’s house on Wednesday. Turns out S was not there and I had to wait about 40 mins before he got home from work.
Should have i messaged S before going to his house on the day?
To add context, my friend S (who’s house we were going to) usually works from home. My friend C is also usually late to gatherings so i didn’t bother messaging him saying i didn’t need a lift anymore as i didn’t want to wait for him.
Let me know what you think about the situation? Am i in the wrong?
YTA.
You gave a thumbs up to C saying he will be there at 615pm indicating agreement to the plan. Then you didn’t tell him you no longer needed the ride later when the plan was to pick you up. So he could have gone to your house and waited for you without knowing you weren’t intending to be there.
You passive aggressively said the match is earlier without any questions about whether or not he wanted to change the time. You expected him to somehow get that you were trying to change the time 1.5 hours prior to the start of the game.
With S you didn’t confirm day of when you were supposed to go over or ask him when to get there. Then you were irritated that he wasn’t home because you made the assumption he would just be there without communicating.
Are you real? I can’t believe you wouldn’t be able to see how many times you were in the wrong here.
So he said he was coming to your house at 6:15, and you didn’t tell him you weren’t going to be there at that time and would have already left? Yeah you should have told him that. And you also should have contacted S to work out when to come. YTA.
YTA. Why would you not reach out to the HOST to verify the time beforehand? Was C waiting on you? That would make you an even bigger AH. How hard is it to text people with your plans?
YTA
You didn’t check before going over to your friend’s house and you should’ve waited before doing anything.
ESH for not specifying a time. Why did no one say explicitly “the game starts at 5:45”?
this could’ve been solved with one “are we still doing this tonight?” text
Of course YTA.
You didnt do what S wanted (come with C), you agreed to C picking you up and didnt bother to tell him not to pick you up anymore.
Can you explain why you think you are NTA?
If the game started at 5.45pm why did you show up at 6pm?
Why didnt you confirm with the host what time you should be arriving? Before kick off? After? Never?
Why didnt you tell your other friend you weren’t needing a ride or if he wanted a ride to arrive at 5.30 since kick off was 5.45?
So much miscommunication