I’ve been going to the gym for a few years and have always thought that I had good gym etiquette. But two recent odd moments with fellow members have left me questioning my etiquette and who the asshole may be in these situations.
The first encounter may be one of the strangest interactions I’ve ever had with another human being. The gym is very quiet and I’m minding my own business using the half rack for bent over rows, squats and upright rows. Whilst doing my sets of squats, a much older woman storms up to me and asks how long I will be. I calmly tell her I have a few sets of squats and another exercise to do but she is more than welcome to jump in. I can only describe her response as baffling. She told me that she had been watching me across the gym and that I had been taking too long and needed to hurry up and move on so that she could use the rack – I had only been resting around 2 minutes between each of my sets, which I thought was quite normal. She then told me that she specifically needed the rack I was on as it’s her favourite and the others just won’t do. After berating me she refused to move away and stood on the platform. I eventually got a bit tired of her and just told her to f\*\*\* off, which I am not proud of, to which she did whilst telling me to also f\*\*\* off. A strange interaction made even more awkward by her gossiping to all of her gym friends, who whenever I now walk in give me stares that feel like daggers. By the mass scorning from this woman and her friends, I am left wondering whether I was in fact in the wrong.
Now, on to the second and more recent encounter. I was using the 24kg dumbbells. When I was done with them, I walked back over to the rack to put the dumbbells back in the space labelled 24, as any normal person would. However, just before I could place the dumbbells down, a man quickly dived in and placed some 18kg dumbbells in the space. Being literally behind him, I politely asked if he could move them so I could put the right dumbbells there. He responded with a bit of a bark and sarcastically asked where he was meant to put the 18kg dumbbells. Not sure if he was joking, I told him in the space that said 18. He then proceeded to basically shout at me and told me that it doesn’t matter where they go. I think this is unfair on staff or other members having to sort this out, but maybe I should have just left it and placed my dumbbells somewhere else or sorted his out.
So, what is your verdict? Am I the asshole in none, one or both of these clashes?
You are not wrong and well within all known gym etiquette. NTA and these people are really weird.
**NTA**. In both cases gym etiquette doesn’t mean surrendering equipment to someone’s “favorite rack” or turning the dumbbell rack into a random number generator.
If there were other racks that were basically the same as the one you were using, then she had no business asking you to give up the one you were using. Telling her to f**k off was matching her rudeness. Perhaps a simple ‘no, please use one of the other racks” followed by no further interaction would have been better.
Matching energy (dumbbells incident) can get you the title of “that guy”. You could have just taken the 18s off and placed the 24s where they belonged without chiding the other gym member.
He was right to chide the lazy idiot for not racking the weights correctly. People like that need to be called out on their actions.
It’s not you, it’s them. nta
I think your gym is full of looneys
Have to wonder if the second dude has heard about you eighth-hand from the first woman through the gossip mill.
NTA but if you start having more encounters like this, that could be why.
NTA uhh people these days are hard to deal with
Both sounded like AH to me
NTA.
First one you swearing is a little too far. Whoever swears first loses the argument IMO. And some places do have rack times but if other racks are available I have seen people use a rack for easily an hour.
Second one, NTA at all.
With the lady: Eh, I try not to bogart apparatus for more than one exercise at a time. By the time you’ve gone through sets of 3 different exercises, even with minimal rest, that’s a fair chunk of time. Personally, I think too much time, if there’s anyone waiting. Working in can be intimidating, and changing weight and position adjustments, a pain.
The guy: He’s the asshole. The weight tree is set up so that you don’t have to hoist the heavier dumbbells. He should have been happy to put his in the appropriate place.
NTA. Offering to let someone work in is literally the polite gym move. She skipped straight to confrontation without trying the normal ask. That’s on her.
Nta.
Something about the gym brings out the worst in people
Thats why i go at night when there is only one or two people
NTA.
In the first instance the woman was being totally weird. If there were other racks free she should have chosen one of them. If there were not, then there is ample time for her to jump in and do a set while you are resting. I’m sure she could even have asked you to spot her if she needed.
In the second instance that guy was just being lazy and rude. It’s not hard to put things back where you found them, and it’s shitty to just replace things willy-nilly and expect others to fix it for you.