okay so my ex and i, 18- F and 19-M, have been on and off ever since we broke up a year ago. he’s currently in a relationship with a girl who lies and sends photos to other guys. we called the other night, where he confirmed all of these things.
he told me that he held my location sometimes and gets worried about me when i’m at hospital weekly aswell and checking in on me monthly. he thinks this is innocent and friendly. until he told me he still has feelings for me and “waiting for her to mess up one more time”.
i am in a bad place in my life and all i want is him. i know this sounds bad on my part but everything starts because he initiates it. like texting me in the middle of the night and saying he misses my voice.
i want to send him a message saying tha he deserves better.
am i the asshole for pursuing him. it’s not one sided
TLDR SHORT SUMMARY:
my ex and i keep coming back to eachother and he currently has a gf but just confessed he is still in love with me. she is lying to him and cheated and he said he’s waiting for her to mess up one more time. i miss him so much it hurts and don’t know what to do.
YTA girl….if he’s talking to you while dating someone else what makes you think he won’t do the same to you.
This is such messy shit and you really aren’t going to be better off with someone who welcomes this much drama coming back into your life. Stress can actively make health conditions worse.
Do you want to date a cheater? He’s emotionally with you but hasn’t broken it off, because he doesn’t want to initiate the conversation / can’t bring himself to do it. Waiting for her to mess up one more time means that he’s holding out and isn’t actually willing to commit himself to you unless a factor completely out of your control happens.
I know you really need a friend and a companion and someone who is emotionally available. This dude is none of them. You would be the asshole to yourself if you don’t just drop this. It’s so easy to get caught up in the romanticism of a love triangle where there’s cheating and he just loves you so much and you love him so much… but real life isn’t Wuthering Heights.
YTA
If he truly wants to end it and be with you, he’ll end it and be with you.
He hasn’t. So he doesn’t. So you shouldn’t.
Good fucking Lord. I’m exhausted for you.
YTA for wanting to deal with this, along other things
Girl, don’t buy into it. If he’s gonna tell you that he’s in love with you while he’s in a relationship with someone else, what would stop him from doing that when he’s with you? Even if she is cheating on him, that doesn’t make it okay for him to emotionally cheat on her. Do yourself a favor and block him and move on, as hard as that will be. Do you want to be on and off again forever?
Maybe not an asshole but definitely an idiot
YTA. If someone desperately loves you, they will drop everything and be with you. He is enjoying keeping you hooked for his own ego. It’s a game to him. It’s sometimes hard to see when you’re young and blinded by the attention and lust from someone. But ask yourself what you’d say to a friend in the same situation…
Girl bye 😒 YTA. The fact you gotta ask makes you a bigger one.
Yes, YTA. Don’t be that girl. If you’re in a bad place, a guy won’t fix that, you’d only be passing your pain onto her.
I was in a similar situation when I was 18. The thing is, if he wanted to be with you he would. I still remember my heartbreak when they broke up and…… we still weren’t together. It was grief all over again.
Cut him off. The situation is toxic. If he wants you back, he will find you. He wants you as a backup and not as a primary. Don’t be a backup. You’re worth more. I’m so sorry. It’s been decades, but I still remember how it hurt.
YTA to yourself for this nonsense.
If they’ll do it *with* you, they’ll do it *to* you. Even at best on again/off again relationships rarely work. And you are way too young to think this is the only guy you’ll be able to love. This is infatuation and puppy love (which, don’t get me wrong, is STRONG and can have a huge pull), move on and find a true and mature love.
YTA, just stop.
Oh, sweetie, you’re not an asshole. No, you’re just a dumbass. He’s keeping you on his line just in case he wants a little something extra on the side. And you’re probably not even the only one that he’s doing this to. He doesn’t care about you and he doesn’t want to be with you. If he did he wouldn’t be waiting for his current girlfriend to “mess up again” to leave her for you. It’s time to wake up and open your eyes so that you can see him for what he really is.
YTA
What you think that trashing his current girlfriend while literally going after a guy that is in a relationship will put you in a sunny light? Nope, your both AHs here (and I mean you and him not her). You know nothing about this girl aside from what he tells you. Because you say she’s bad person you are justifying being a AH. If you want to be a homewrecker then go for it but don’t think your a good person while doing it.
YTA