My girlfriend was going out to an event with her best friend last night. Before the event her friend was coming over to ours. She asked my gf if they were eating here and my gf mentioned that me and her will be eating beforehand.
Her friend suggested ordering food instead and said she would be paying so my gf agreed. When her friend arrived she started talking about ideas for food. When I joined in the conversation her friend said the food is just for them and she’s not ordering me food.
I pointed out she should have been clear about that before telling my gf we shouldn’t eat beforehand and saying she was paying. She just said she’s not paying for me to order food and asked why would she.
I pointed out last time we all met up I paid for everything and said I’m not having someone come into my home and be rude to me so told her to leave. She said I was overreacting but I just told her to get out. My gf said she understands why I’m annoyed but thinks I’m taking things too far but I refused to change my mind.
AITA for telling her to leave?
INFO
When she was talking about ordering food was she talking to you and the gf or just the gf?
If she was just talking to the gf and you budded in, then ESH. Otherwise, NTA
She never specified, she just said that instead of us eating before she got there she’d pay for a takeaway instead.
NTA. Your gf should have shut that down.
NTA, idiots say esh. Yeah I called you an idiot. You don’t come into someone’s home and disrespect them. This was very disrespectful. If you can’t see that then you are the problem.
NTA – considering your GF told her you both would be making dinner and eating before they go out it is reasonable to think she meant buy take out for all of you, especially when you have paid for the friend’s meal in the past.
My best friend is married and when I visit I’ll occasionally buy us take away, I would never consider only buying take away for my friend and leaving her husband out of it.
NTA, Exactly I used to go spend my buddies day off at his Place and he would treat me one time next time I was at his place I would treat his whole family to lunch. It’s just how we were raised. If one of us was eating we were all eating every time didn’t matter which one of us would cover the other. We may not have been blood but we were family.
I would’ve asked if I could pay her for my own food since they were getting something and then remember that next time you go out with her she is in her own for expenses.
I think friend is probably shortsighted and goofy. Just wanted her way and didn’t think about the fact that she was 1) communicating this to you and 2) probably shafting you out of already-made dinner plans
To be clear, you didn’t exist to the friend. Whether that’s a mental condition or they’re just shitty and rude isn’t something we can divine. The “us” is a bit of a mislead IMO
They were rude to you and probably should learn why that is. This would drive me up a wall too. Nta
NTA, she should have been clearer like you said. You were angered at her insolence when it came to gathering and partaking in a meal together. It was completely rude and you were well within your rights to eject her from your dwelling.
NTA . However your gf needs to grow a spine and tell her friend upfront that she needs to improve on her courteousness.
Anyway what kind of person is fine with someone paying for her food but won’t reciprocate it another time?
NTA you were right in that her actions we’re weird and disrespectful. I think if the roles were reversed (it was your guy friend and he excluded your gf) people would calm you an AH for not kicking him out. There’s people on here saying “it’s not just your home” like yeah sure ok but why would anyone expect gf to be ok with someone coming into her home and disrespecting her partner?
NTA. You were already included the moment your GF initially told her friend she had planned on eating with you at home.
NTA. It was a communication issue. But she made herself the asshole by “why would I pay for you” comment. I personally would’ve given her some snark back instead of kicking her out, but I dont think youre an AH for doing so
I was prepared to say NTA, but upon reading how aggressive and combative you are in the comments, I’m starting to wonder if maybe you overreacted to a miscommunication and became aggressive.