My youngest cousin is graduating high school the last week in May. She lives in a different state, about a 10 hour drive. Months ago her mom invited all her girl cousins (+ partners) to come down and surprise her. My husband and I said yes but as of right now my cousin doesn’t know we’re coming.
For about a year now we’ve known that my husbands job is going to take him to Italy for a few days and we planned to pay for my flight and use some PTO to make a trip out of it. Lodging is covered by the company and he’ll be given a small stipend for the trip. The only thing is, the dates have been TBA so we didn’t know at the time of RSVPing to my cousin’s graduation, but recently the client (in Italy) has ball-parked late May. We still don’t have the exact dates but there’s a possibility it will overlap with my cousin’s graduation.
I just found out last week that I’m pregnant with our first child (yay!) but it’s early, so flying won’t be an issue. I want to bow out of the graduation because this is a significantly discounted trip to Italy and will probably be our last chance to travel like this for years and years once kids come along. And this is not a trip we could afford otherwise.
My aunt (cousin’s mom) will be very upset if I flake on graduation. Even with little things she’s very dramatic and everything is a big deal to her. She also has a bad relationship with her daughter’s father after a nasty affair, so I think inviting family is a big support group during a time she’ll have to be around him a lot. So I know this will be a ticking time bomb if the dates overlap. I think my cousin would understand but I’m sure there would be a small amount of disappointment.
My adult cousin is assuring me it’s fine to skip the graduation for something so once-in-a-lifetime but my sister keeps saying it’ll be a disaster if I go. However, my husband and I were my sister’s ride down to the graduation so I think she’s a little biased. She still has access to a car and is capable of getting there but now it’s a 10 hour trip by herself rather than split between 3 people.
WIBTA if I went to Italy with my husband?
No. Go to Italy and have fun.
NTA
drive 10 hours to go to a cousin’s HS graduation vs a trip to Italy? why is this even a matter of debate. your cousin won’t miss you.
None of my many cousins came to my graduation. Didn’t even occur to me that they would. Most lived in the area. NTA
Oh for goodness sake. It’s a high school graduation. She doesn’t need every family member there. People do not have to abandon their own lives to attend other people’s events. We need to stop having this expectation. Go to Italy.
So you’re thinking of skipping a COUSIN’S 10-hour away HIGH SCHOOL graduation for an Italian vacation?
I would skip that for an Italian restaurant.
Go ahead and let this rando drama queen aunt “be upset.” I’m sure she’s been upset plenty of times before, and probably will be again. The good news is she’s 10 hours away and it shouldn’t bother you in the absolute least.
NTA
this is the kind of situation where real life just refuses to schedule things nicely. i remember missing a friend’s event once because of a trip and i still felt guilty about it