I want to preface this by saying I do feel bad and that’s why I’m posting here because while I didn’t initially care I definitely looked back at the situation after I had calmed down and felt weird about it. And wondered AITA?. I’m also just not using fake names because it’s not that confusing without but I’m not saying names at all just being general in my wording.
So I am currently doing college online and so I really needed a laptop because the one I had at the time was very old and slow. My current wage job wasn’t gonna get me anything relatively good so I had asked my dad if he could buy me an old laptop from ebay for $400. He told me he didn’t have the money. Fast forward a month later my little sister calls me and tells me that our dad is buying her the new iPhone 17 pro max for $1200. I pretended like I was so happy for her and then asked her what she plans to do with this considering she already has a good enough working iPhone 13. She basically just said she just wants the new one because all her friends have it and I was like "okay that’s cool". I was secretly livid. I live near my dad (not that close but not far) so I went over there and I made small talk then asked him about it and basically told him that I was really needing a laptop for school and I heard that he was paying like a thousand dollars for my sister’s phone. I basically just told him that it makes more sense to buy me a laptop now and wait for my sister to get good grades at the end of the semester before buying her anything. I was aware she wasn’t doing that well in school.
He (to my surprise) agreed and bought me the laptop actually for a bit higher price of $650 and I of course didn’t wanna hurt my sister so I didn’t tell her about this. I then did call my sister later on and I asked her about it and she as expected told me that he wasn’t going to buy her anything unless she gets good grades and I told her i hope she does get the phone soon and keeps studying. I’m not sure if my dad told her but she didn’t tell me or if he did end up buying it for her but I did get my laptop. Here is the thing, I have empathy for my sister but at the end of the day it’s between a want (her new phone) and a need (my new laptop), I’m going into college now and in high schooI used an old 2008 blackberry and I was picked on but I was fine.
My older brother did end up telling her after finding out from my dad (i genuinely have no idea how he found out but i knew my dad wouldn’t keep it a secret for long) and my sister didn’t talk to me for a while and that was expected but recently she has started talking to me again and I did apologize. As her brother it’s important for me to emphasize with her and understand her point of view and her perspective. AITA though for initially not doing that?
NTA you needed a new laptop for school.
An i-phone 13 is a good phone.
I cannot fathom why an iphone 17 is more important than the laptop. Does your dad usually play favourites?
The only thing is you pretended to be pleased for your sister when you really should have tried honesty.
You shouldn’t have gone behind your sisters back and frankly should have been honest with her when she told you about the phone. That was an AH move, overall though NTA high school kids don’t need $1200 phones, you however do need a functioning laptop for an online college.
You need a laptop for college. NTA
NTA. I think you were correct to point out that your father was not allocating available funds reasonably.
NTA. You NEED a laptop. She doesn’t NEED a brand new iPhone, she WANTS it. As you said OP there’s a difference.
Why is she pissed you got a laptop that you needed? She has a perfectly decent, working phone. It’s a completely separate thing. Why did your brother tell her anyway? It sounds like your sister could do better at school. You said when she gets decent grades maybe then she can be rewarded. Maybe less time on her phone and more listening in class would be better for her.
Honestly £1200 for a phone? 😱😱 A phone that’s not actually ‘needed’. My first phone back in the dark ages was £50. I know they’re expensive to buy, but wow. That’s a lot of money for a random purchase. My kids would need As in every subject and also cure cancer before I would even consider it.
YTA. I understand needing a new laptop, but the way you went about it…
Your sister calls you excitedly to tell you her good news and then you go behind her back to your father to dissuade him from buying it. And then you don’t even have the guts to tell your sister what you did. She had to find it out from your older brother.
Also, you knew you would need a new laptop for online college, so you should’ve started saving money for it months before you actually needed it. Or at least asked your father so that he could save up some money for it.
ESH
Your dad refusing to buy you something you need for school and then buying your sister a phone 3x the price seems like favoritism.
But telling your dad to make his purchase for your sister contingent on grades??!!
Just address the laptop again. Or, at most, if you want to point out the hypocrisy/favoritism, “Hey, I heard that Sister is getting a new phone. I know you said you didn’t have enough money, but if something changed with your finances, I could really use help with a laptop for school.”
[deleted]
ESH
Your dad for saying he couldn’t afford to get you a secondhand laptop before turning around and promising your sister a phone upgrade she didn’t actually need.
You for using underhanded methods to get what you wanted and hurting your sister in the process.
Your sister for wanting a brand new phone she doesn’t need when she apparently isn’t even doing well in school.
NAH In my opinion, **only if** you really aren’t able to make 400 bucks for a laptop with your job. But, for that we need to know the specs of the laptop, like what cpu was it, SSD or hdd, etc. If it’s given that it’s a pentium or celeron, yeah you need it. If it’s something that can be upgraded, or an i5or something then you’re an asshole.
Although I do thinn your sister doesn’t need a 1200 dollar phone, the 13 is very well gonna get her through.
Lmaooo am I the only one that thinks what you did was okay??? You are still his daughter and obviously a laptop for college is more important than a new phone for a teenager lol. This wouldn’t even be a debate in my family, obviously the laptop first then the phone. Idk why Reddit thinks just cause you turned 18 you have to do everything yourself. Good families help their children out even when they are in college 😚😚😚.
NTA
Who needs it more should get over who just wants it. Priorities should be school, work, or both.
This has to be BS. A 2008 blackberry in 2026? Be for real…