so, some background I am a 15m living with my mom and stepdad my real dad is not in the picture. so recently me and my parents have been fighting a lot over if I deserve respect, they say they don’t need to give me it because I’m their son. the main branch of respect I guess you could say I’m talking about is talking over each other. I never talk over them but if we are in an argument they will start to yell over me and I actually try to calm things down asking my mom or step dad to please let me talk but they always have the same response "I don’t need to let you talk when this is my house" I’ll ask either one to let me talk but they never do I always try to deescalate what’s happening but I’ll admit I’m not perfect we will start screaming at one another and they will even try to make the claim I have no voice in their house. for example, I got suspended for fighting in school this year, but when I tried to explain to them it was self-defense they didn’t want to hear it and told me I’m grounded no matter what even after asking to let me explain my self they just never let me explain myself. There are many other examples I have to but I won’t get to all of them. I don’t know how many people will read this, but I need to know if I’m in the wrong for asking for a voice in their house.
NTA, in my opinion. Respect goes both ways, and they’re not automatically entitled to it because they’re your parents. If they want the opportunity to speak uninterrupted, you should get the same. It being their house is also irrelevant in this context. Your mother made the decision to have a child, that house is also yours for at least the next 2-3 years.
If you were doing anything illegal or immoral, then sure, thier house, their rules comes into play..
Being able to have a voice in a conversation, no.
This is a prime example of how parents end up estranged from their kids but “don’t know why” because they “never did anything wrong.”
This is also assuming you’ve left nothing out..
Question, do you wish to continue to have a relationship with your parents once you turn 18?
Nta- but my advice (if you want it) is dependent on what kind of relationship you want once you’re out of the house/an adult.
NTA, but please find an adult at school, friend’s parent, counselor, or in an activity you do to talk to. For your own health and well-being, please know that this is not normal and things will get better—and you might realize like I did that a parent(s) are less mature than you are and find the best way to get through the next few years until you can go away to college or otherwise move out.
NTA
Child. You are NTA. You are still a minor trying to find your way in this fucked up world and that’s 100% ok. You have a voice and you are using it to the best of your ability. It’s your parental figures that are making you question yourself. Don’t let them. Advocate for yourself and NEVER back down. They’re taking their weaknesses out on you. Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to? If so then trauma dump on them and go from there.
It’s very clear who the assholes (plural) are here. The parents who treat their kid like this.
Assuming nothing is being left out, NTA. You deserve the respect that acknowledges that you’re a human being. You probably need to talk to another trusted adult, if one is available. They may take it better coming from another adult than they will ‘the kid’.
NTA
No NTA, in fact don’t forget this in the future either. You are a person and you have rights.
If your family is like mine, and you start to succeed in life, they’ll start pretending that none of it happened.
Do not let them do this, in fact, start recording them doing this so they can’t lie! Save it in MULTIPLE PLACES besides your phone, flash drives, laptops, anything you can think of in case you lose your phone or they take it.
Be sneaky about it too getting them in the frame once and holding your phone in ways that don’t “look like” you’re recording help as well.
They have shown you that they don’t see you as a person enough to treat you with basic respect, so focus on yourself.
Show it to other people if you’re worried it might be veering into emotional abuse. Especially if it’s ever paired with threats of violence or even things like hitting doors/tables.
Respect absolutely goes both ways, they need to treat you like a person if they want respect in the future.
One more thing, they chose to have children, it’s not a Gift they gave to you. You do not owe them for being born, they are supposed to do things like give you food, water, clothes, and proper shelter (legally) up until you are 18 years old.
If they’re shitty people they stop at 18, but don’t let them hold it over your head, this is the bare minimum.
BIG THING! Look up party consent laws in the place you live in. Some places need to have all parties consent, that’s two-party consent laws.
One party consent means you don’t need to get their consent, but you do need to talk or you would be considered a third party.
NTA. You should have a voice. You should be respected. You are a part of the family and should be recognized for that.
Here’s the bad part. You can’t change this. These two are more interested in being right and being in charge than actually acknowledging you. So you won’t be able to do anything because you aren’t the problem.
NTA
Your parents sound toxic, and I’m very sorry you are enduring this
NTA, look for the real and trusted adult outside, if there is available.