I (29F) had lunch with my parents yesterday. My dad is going on a work trip to Las Vegas in May for a week and my mom will be tagging along. During our lunch, they brought the trip up and my dad mentioned how he felt guilty about leaving my mom alone most of the day while he attended work conferences. He mentioned wanting someone to go along on the trip to keep her company during the day, so they asked me if I’d be interested in going. I’ll admit, in the moment I was taken aback but thought maybe it’d be fun so I said yes. Now that I’ve had some time to think on it, I’m having some regrets. I’d never imagined taking a trip to Las Vegas because it doesn’t seem like my scene. Plus, I will need to pay for airfare, food, and any excursions. I talked with my fiancé about it later that day, who became bummed out because we’d loosely discussed planning a trip to the beach that same month during the holiday. I don’t have the PTO or the funds to do both trips. I would honestly prefer to go on the beach trip with my fiancé as we are newly engaged and we’ve never taken a vacation together, just the two of us. But I’m feeling guilty about backing out of the Las Vegas trip with my parents after I’d already said yes. In hindsight, I wish I’d told them I’d consider it before immediately agreeing. I love my parents dearly, so I’m worried about feeling regretful I didn’t go and share the experience. My fiancé and I could always schedule a trip for a different time, but he’s understandably bummed out because he’d been looking forward to it. However, he’s very supportive of either decision I make. So, WIBTA if I backed out of going to Las Vegas with my parents?
NTA, it’s extremely reasonable to say “I agreed before remembering that my fiance and I were already planning a trip that month, sorry but I can’t make it after all.”
NAH. Explain the situation to your parents, that you’d already been discussing a trip with your fiancé. They may be disappointed, but that doesn’t push you into AH territory.
NTA – just let them know you had previous commitments you’d forgotten about in the moment, but you hope they have a good time.
If your dad wants you to keep your mom company, they should treat.
NTA. Bow out.
YWNBTA. They bombarded you with a question, obviously you didn’t have enough time to think it through. Sure you should have said you’ll think about it instead of answering immediately. But we don’t don’t do these kind of small goof ups, we’d be robots not humans.
Stop overthinking and see what YOU want the most. If you want to go with your parents, maybe you can bring your fiance along (if they want to go). If you want to plan something else, you can explain the same to your parents.
It’s not like your parents planned the trip based on your availability. So there’s nothing to be guilty about.
NTA but tell them asap so they can find someone else.
NTA
Just tell your parents that you actually won’t be able to manage the trip and you are very sorry that you can’t attend. Say you already have plans over the summer and you don’t have enough PTO. Just be honest. You are allowed to change you mind. And your mother is an adult who can find ways to entertain herself and if she can’t, she probably shouldn’t be going either.
NTA. There are plenty of things to do in Vegas on her own. She’s an adult, she’ll figure it out.
Tell them nicely asap and explain what you told us here. Shouldn’t be an issue.
There’s lots to do in Vegas on one’s own including hanging out at the pool, sightseeing excursions outside of town, shopping, etc. If your mom would be really miserable by herself all day, maybe she should stay home or invite a sister or girlfriend to go with her.
Good luck!
Initially, I assumed your dad was covering your expenses. He should be!
NAH
You are free to change your mind. If you would like to go, but cannot afford it, feel free to say that as well, if you just need him to cover the costs and you can’t swing it.
I probably would not mention going on that beach trip, however. No need to rub salt in the wound, so to speak. I wouldn’t want your mom’s feelings to be hurt.
Hopefully, she is the type who can find things to do to entertain herself. Spa, walks, pool, museums, bus tour, etc.
Another option might be to just go for part of that week, if doing so would help with time off (so that you still have days for your beach trip) and if your dad would cover the costs.
(I’m still rather astounded that he asked you for a significant favor, but expects you to pay for it….)
YWNBTA and you’re making this way more complicated than it needs to be. Tell your parents that when you said yes, you forgot that your trip with fiancé was scheduled for the same time. It’s not just a solid excuse, it’s perfectly true and the right choice to make.
OP, if you could afford it, would you want to do both trips?
If so, tell your parents that you already had plans with your fiancé and, after reviewing your finances, you cannot afford both trips so you are unable to go with them.
Also, are you going because you think it will be fun for you, or is this primarily to keep your mom company because your dad can’t? If the latter, they should at least be paying for your airfare, ground transportation, and hotel.
NTA.
Just explain to them that when you checked your calendar/PTO/fiancee, it isn’t going to work out. Your parents surely will understand.