So I have had this housekeeper for at least 10 years, let’s call her Alex. So Alex didn’t exactly raise me but she was somewhat of a present figure in my childhood.
She picked me up from school and thursdays and spent the summer with us on our summer house. So it’s sort of expected that she got more comfortable around our family, especially me and my younger sibling. She begun asking us to do things around the house which, okay I get it, like taking out the trash and helping her sweep the floor and folding our laundry. Problem is that I am now in a super stressing phase where I have to do a bazillion exams for my dream college while still keeping my 93/100 average in school. Also I work as a waitress, play the piano and volunteer. Safe to say I begun having less and less free time to a point where I literally only come home to eat and study.
I usually come home, cook lunch, take a bath and then I go to my room to study. But Alex comes home the same time that I do. She knocks on my door repeatedly to ask either for help taking out the trash, or folding the laundry and stuff like that. It’s not one or two times a day, it’s literally like every half an hour she’s knocking on my door asking me something. Lately, she started “barring” me from taking a bath in the afternoon cause she needed to clean the bathroom so I should just take it in the morning or at night. Then she also tells me to cook “less elaborate” lunches cause she doesn’t want to clean all my mess (I literally use 1 pan every time).
I have ADHD so I really need to stick to my routine or else I feel like I’m losing control and can’t get anything done. So now whenever she knocks on my door I tell her I’m busy, I take my baths whenever I want and cook whatever I want.
My parents have always thought me to treat everyone with respect but I don’t think I’m being that unreasonable. Am I being a spoiled kid?? AITA??
Info
Is she asking on your parents orders, it’s not uncommon for people to ask the hired help for the kids to do some chores
Especially if they are there more often then the parents
Are the tasks she’s asking you to do part of her housekeeping responsibilities? If so, you need to talk to your parents about it instead of passive aggressively ignoring her and the situation. Your parents are her employers and are responsible for making sure she does the tasks they’re paying her to do.
NTA. Why are you not involving your parents in this conversation. Let them know it’s nice of her try to teach you responsibility. But it is in the way of other important things that you are responsible for right now.
They should handle this conversation with her. She’s being paid to do all the work she’s asking you to help with afterall.
This is more than just a housekeeper. How old is she? How many kids are in the household? If you have ADHD and you only make one pan why not just wash it?
My guess is she is an older woman who needs help with heavy trash, she takes care of multiple children and works day and night for little pay and the parents have told her to get the kids to help instead of hiring another person.
So I need more information, but I am leaning heavily towards YTA and your parents are worse.
INFO – I’m just curious if she gets paid well? Is she more like your guys’ baby sitter than a housekeeper? It sounds like she is partly raising you guys to be responsible with the tasks/cleaning help.
Short answer, yes obviously you’re a spoiled kid.
-“our house keeper”
-“our summer home”
-“she doesn’t want to clean all my mess”
So yeah get that part straight, you’re clearly spoiled.
I would do two hours of chores in my home on a daily basis after school and when I started working at 15 I was still expected to keep those things maintained in the household. You need some life perspective.
Counterpoint. An employee who refuses to do all of their assigned tasks or, worse, makes their supervisor or employers do it for them, would be called out for insubordination or bad performance.
A housekeeper is not a nanny or babysitter. Disciplining their employer’s children is not part of the job description. Cleaning up after said children very much is.
This is the most first world problem nonsense I’ve read in a long time.
You need to talk to your parents about clarifying the household duties.
Info. Are your parents aware she’s asking you to do jobs? Seems Alex is parenting you as per parents request. Likely they expect you to do some chores around the house
INFO: I am very confused about your situation. You only go to school in the morning? You cook lunch and take a bath (not shower) every day?
It’s not unreasonable for her to have a time when she’s cleaning the bathroom and so you can’t bathe at that time.
I also have ADHD. This condition does not give you an excuse to be rude or thoughtless about other people. Saying “I take my baths whenever I want and cook whatever I want” is peak spoiled, entitled person.
Talk to your parents about everything. I do not think its a bad idea that she taught you how to do chores. Kids are growing up so entitled.
You should definitely talk to your parents to find out THEIR expectations of her and of you. While it’s courteous to clean up after yourself when you make your lunch, if your parents are expecting her to do it as part of her job, then she shouldn’t be asking you to do it. Nor should she be bothering you to do tasks when you’re trying to study. When it comes to your afternoon bath, you should not have to change your time to suit her schedule. As a housekeeper, she should be planning her routine to work with the family’s needs and not the other way around. NTA for feeling this way but you shouldn’t be rude either.
I don’t think anyone getting paid as a cleaner should be bugging anyone else to clean anything.