My friend often addresses his friends’ girlfriends as homemaker/housewife, though in my native language the word doesn’t have a direct translation to English but that’s close enough. It’s normal here to call wives as ‘home person/homemaker/housewife’ although most women have their own careers, it’s like a cute and affectionate nickname for the person husbands go home to. My friend, keeps addressing his friends’ girlfriends as such, and it kinda irks me because those girlfriends are studying degree like the rest of us, and they are just girlfriends by status. I would be okay if there is a marriage or engagement status but no. So one time when he did that in a casual conversation, I made a point that I don’t feel it is okay to use those terms when they are in fact not legally married. I was talking from my own point of view that I would not be comfortable to be addressed as such by my own boyfriend moreover his friends. I just felt like even though those terms are not really harmful, but it reinforces the stereotype that girlfriends, when they eventually get married will be housewives. My friend then was annoyed then said I keep bringing up stupid things like this and making a big deal out of nothing. Why he said I ‘keep’ bringing things up is because once he made a comment when he saw a few women playing fireworks at 3 am, close to other people, saying "the fact that they are girls is more irritating". So I posed a question where would it be less bad or okay if they’re men instead, which he saw as an attack and said I’m just picking a fight with him. I just don’t think it’s right to do so because I feel it comes from internalised misogyny and I’m the type to voice out my opinion straight away. But now I’m overthinking that I’m nitpicking over small stuffs. Now we don’t really talk because there is some tension between us. I’d hate for the friendship to falter because of tiny language stuffs but I also don’t want to feel internally conflicted by not voicing out my opinion. AITA?
NTA: its great to challenge sexism imo
NTA. He’s got a weird take about that term. I’d be insulted. (Am a housewife/SAHM even)
NTA but gods use the enter key sometime
The reddit mobile app is also awful and ignores single new lines. I’ve made that mistake too.
NTA.
Calling out misogyny is never wrong.
Be it societal or personal, the language needs to evolve and you are doing the right thing. Hearing it from his male friend is the only way he has any chance of registering this.
NTA it sounds like your friend is sexist and your values are incompatible.
Yes. He is not only sexist but also manipulative. He is whining about his little fees fees when he was in the wrong. What a baby. NTA
Not sure this really counts as an AITA (in that it’s not something he’s calling you, it’s your opinion about his interactions with other people). And of course I can’t say whether the specific word he uses is appropriate or not, considering that it’s in a different language and doesn’t even have a direct translation in English. But in general, NTA for correcting sexism if that’s what you see.
NTA
Your “friend” would be better off using the girlfriend’s names (Jenny, Sue, whatever) and not referring to them as homemaker or any other profession they might have. I’m retired, and whenever I hear the term “housewife” in regards to me, I want to rip them a new one, but that’s me. Just use my name!
Sorry, but yes, YTA. Not extremely so, your feeling on this are valid, but it’s not your place to cause an issue *on behalf* of the other girlfriends. Let them speak up for themselves if it bothers them, and if it doesn’t, then there really isn’t an issue. At most, I would think a conversation with each of the other girlfriends might be reasonable. Ask if it bothers them. Encourage them to speak up if it does, but what you’re doing is treating the other girlfriends as if they need someone to stand up for them, as if they lack agency, and aren’t capable themselves.
INFO: You wrote:
>My friend, keeps addressing his friends’ girlfriends as such, and it kinda irks me
What do *they* (the girlfriends) think about it? Have they stated that this bothers them? Have you asked them?
NTA its good to call out your friends sexism. And that’s what he is, a sexist.
NTA. If the use of the term was nothing then why is he making a big deal out of it? Why is he getting upset? It’s just a word. Why can’t he refer to them as partner or by their name?
NTA
keep doing it. Either he’ll learn you’ll get rid of a reactionary misogynist in your life.