So first of all I (18F) have my own animals. a dog, cat, and chickens. But my brother who works full time recently got a puppy. He is never home so the puppy would be in the crate all day (I told him before he got the puppy I would NOT be helping with it and that he has no time for a dog). But anyways, I feel bad for the puppy so I feed it and let it stay out of the crate when i’m home/let it outside. However, that’s all I do for it while doing a lot more for my dog and my family seems to think i’m an asshole for this? My dog goes on a walk at least once a day, usually around the neighborhood for an hour but I also like to take him on hikes. I also take him to the store with me if i’m going and it’s pet friendly. I don’t bring the puppy because he’s not trained and is reactive (i’ve worked for probably hundreds of hours to train my dog who was reactive when i got him and i still spend time maintaining his training, and have no interest in training a puppy right now). Personally I think i’m doing more than enough for the puppy, since I have my own animals and didn’t want another one
NTA. Everyone is so entitled these days. He should have never got the dog like you advised. Your brother is negligent
NTA. You told him upfront you wouldn’t help and you’re still doing more than you should. The puppy isn’t your responsibility and you have your own animals to care for. Your brother needs to rehome the dog if he can’t actually take care of it. Leaving it crated all day is unfair to the animal.
Not the asshole its not your pet and just because your family chose to get one doesn’t mean it’s your responsibility
INFO: Please elaborate on ‘and my family seems to think I’m an asshole for this’
Are your parents telling you that you should be spending more time with the puppy that isn’t yours – both parents, not just one?
Do they ever acknowledge that it’s your brother’s puppy?
Do you ever bring up that it’s your brother’s puppy in these conversations?
What does your brother say – does he silently let the parents go off on you, does he actively assist them in blaming you, what?
Does your brother have any other pets?
Has your brother ever had pets before?
Do your parents have pets?
And this one in particular – You mention your brother having a full time job, but I don’t see mention of you working – do you work, or are you still currently jobless?
At first glance this is a NTA, but there’s a lot that wasn’t clarified, and I could see missing details flipping this – if, say, the brother who works is helping contribute to the household financially, and the poster isn’t working yet and has soft-absorbed the roll of general pet care in lieu of working to help the household, or the like.
My brother as well as my parents think i’m an asshole for not training the puppy and taking it out when I go places, they’ll acknowledge it’s his puppy but laugh about how he never has time for it. Nobody has any pets to care for besides me (i pay the animals vet bills, other costs, and do all their care but at first a couple of them were supposed to be family pets but then became just mine). I do have a job, only work a couple days a week because i’m in college as well (community college because it’s cheaper and i pay for it myself). I also work with dogs and my boss allows me to bring my own dog to work when needed so he’s not crated all day
You should include this information in the op – especially the parts about you having a part-time job that is working with dogs where you can bring your own dog, and no one else in the house having a pet. It’s wildly normal – still ignorant, but normal – for people that don’t engage with the realities of pet care would translated the above data points into ‘oh well she has time, experience, she loves pets and her work allows pets, why WOULDN’T we rely on her?’.
I would strongly recommend that when including the above info, you give your post some linebreaks – group your information, separate it for readability, all that. It’ll help you get more engagement, and by getting more responses you can rest more assured you’re getting a proper group response.
Also… pet chickens? Actually pet chickens, plural, and not say chickens for eggs that you’re friendly with – you’re functionally the only pet owner in the house and have a dog, a cat, and chickens? Do you guys living in a rural area and have farmers for neighbors, or something? Feels like there’s some more context to be had, here…
ESH. This is animal abuse. Crated all day, no training, minimal socializing, etc. OP is trying not to get sucked into being responsible for another dog, which is understandable. Your brother is an entitled, lazy jackass. Why not inform bro that he either steps up immediately or OP will take the pup to a rescue/no kill shelter to be rehomed. And then do it.
What does your brother do to care for his pup, and the other family animals, and why can’t he care for it? If he’s working, does he make enough to pay for doggy day care or puppy training?
That dog is not your dog, so you don’t have any responsibility. But you still give the dog care because you’re not heartless like your brother. I honestly think you should give the puppy to a home where someone will actually take care of them. If he doesn’t have time to be at home to care for the puppy, then he should have never got them
What stores are pet friendly? Not the grocery, not the drugstore. Don’t take your pets in stores that say, “No pets.” Same with coffee shops and restaurants.
NTA. Poor puppy.
NTA, but that poor puppy.
ESH. Him for neglecting his puppy, your family for expecting you to pick up his slack, and all of you for not pushing him to rehome it. The lack of training/socialisation/affection now is going to follow that poor little thing its entire life, and it deserves better. You should be pushing your family – assuming you live with parents – to force your brother to find a good, loving home for it while it’s still young, or calling Animal Protection services on him if you/he already live independently. I’d like to give your brother a good box around the ears.