Basically my family and i feed any stray cats in the neighbourhood. A few months ago, this one cat in particular, would come over regularly and ended up getting really comfortable with us, like he sleeps on our sofas and the beds,and even cuddles. After a while, he went missing for a day and we got really worried, only to end up coming back with a collar. The collar had the owners number so i texted, telling them about how that cat has been at my house and eats and sleeps there. She said she went on holiday a few months ago, she asked a friend to feed him every day but he wouldn’t come, and said he probably got upset and left her, thanking me for taking care of him. She then said he’s an outdoor cat and not to let him in anymore, after that we haven’t been in contact. However, the cat had gotten used to us, he would always be at the house, even more than me, and it was hard to get him out as we grew attached to him so we’ve let him keep coming, especially because its cold outside and we want him to be safe. Now the problem is I’m moving soon, and I’m contemplating whether i should text the owner and ask if I can take the cat, my sister said I shouldn’t because its disrespectful to take someone’s cat, but i don’t really think the owner would be fussed as she doesn’t really take care of the cat. It’s November and its been raining really often, so he’s always coming to the house, and she hasn’t questioned why she barely sees her cat, which makes me question is he really an outdoor cat, or does she just not let him inside. Anyways, I’d appreciate a second opinion on this because now I’m conflicted on whether to text the owner about taking the cat with me because if I leave, I’m worried he’d think we abandoned him.
NTA
Here’s my question: how far away are you moving?? If it’s just across town, then yeah, I’d ask first as she’ll likely still see you. But if it’s out of town, out of state, etc… just take the cat. If she texts, you just hit her with “you said he was an outdoor cat; he’s probably outside. We moved X ago, and I haven’t had the time to invest in a new pet let alone someone else’s.”
Either way, she clearly doesn’t care if she doesn’t do half of jack to take care of him. And if she can’t PROVE you took the cat, then you’re in the clear.
Thing is where I’m not sure where I’m moving yet, but I have two other cats so i need to start thinking about the arrangements to take him to the new place. I’m not sure whether the cat visits her and she still takes care of him, so it feels mean to just take it. So question is how do i ask her
YTA. She doesn’t know you so of course she is not telling you what’s going on in her life or in her thoughts. Also, don’t know that she doesn’t take care of the cat. As far as she is concerned, the cat likes to be outdoors. She did arrange for a friend to feed it when she went away.
You need to contact her again and explain your situation. Say that the cat spends a lot of time at your house and you’d like to take him along when you move.
In my experience, most cats (except for the very young ones, who are like human teens in that they like to go out and explore and can be moody) love company and are very social. However, many people don’t understand this and assume their cats like to be alone and out.
So do not simply take the cat. For all you know the woman may love him but feel he deserves to decide where to spend his time. It will come as news to her that he has been getting attention elsewhere.