I (19f) live in a dorm room with one of my friends (M). It has been going well so far. However, one of M’s frequent habits has started to go beyond being a simple minor annoyance. To put it simply, M picks her nose multiple times a day. This isn’t simple scratching either, she is full on digging in her nose right in my line of sight. She doesn’t wash her hands after she does this either, and cold and flu season is beginning to ramp up on our campus. I have tried asking her if she needs a tissue, hoping that she would get the hint, but her picking has only increased as the air has gotten drier. I have tried to ignore this as we are good friends otherwise and I really don’t feel like this is a conversation that I should have to have with an adult woman, but the other day I went to use our shared fridge (which is under her bed) and I found dried boogers on the floor. I am tired of seeing her dig in her nose multiple times a day and leave her pickings on the floor. WIBTA if I asked her to refrain from picking or do so in the bathroom?
NTA. That’s just nasty.
If she wants to pick her nose. That’s fine. But smearing boogers left right and center is not cool.
Honestly your friend is kind of the a-hole in this situation. There’s “quirky roommate habits,” and then there’s digging in your nose like you’re mining for gold and dropping the evidence around the room. That’s not normal, that’s straight-up nasty.. especially during cold and flu season.
You’re not wrong for wanting basic hygiene and respect in a shared space. Asking a grown woman to use a tissue and keep her bodily fluids off the floor isn’t rude, it’s the bare minimum standard of living. If she can’t manage that, she’s not being considerate… she’s being unsanitary. You can absolutely be polite, but you also need to be clear.
Something like “Hey, I noticed you’ve been picking a lot and leaving stuff on the floor. Could you do that in the bathroom and toss anything in the trash? It’s making the shared space hard to keep clean.
If she’s truly your friend, she’ll correct it.
If she doesn’t, it’s not nose-picking anymore, it’s a boundary problem.
NTA. Just tell her that you don’t mind if she picks her nose as long as she eats her boogers instead of putting them on the floor.
NTA just ew yucky, seriously tho she should have just stopped
I’d put multiple boxes of tissues on her bed. If she asks why there are so many, say that she seems to enjoy digging around so much, you thought tissues would be better for her. They are more hygienic and much better for her nails!
NTA. Admittedly I have a germ phobia, But that is disgusting. I would recommend having a conversation with her and if that fails talking to a RA for mediation and advice
NTA It has boiled down to hygienic issues and also sharing a shared place and seeing dried boogers is absolutely disgusting. You say everything is going well so far. I wonder if you all have cleaning schedules, does she pick up after herself, take out the trash, etc. Maybe you can hint about wiping down the fridge/counters to prevent the spread of germs? Definitely need to address that asap but also gently to not offend her.
I honestly would get my own mini fridge if she doesn’t wash her hands or clean her boogers. You should not have to tell a roommate that, as it is obvious. But I have seen others do that too unfortunately. Although since the shared fridge is under her bed, it is technically in her space. (unless you guys are in a shared room, I think compromises have to be made)
As for bringing up the issue, I don’t know how you would but starting off with how it makes you feel and that you think it is unsanitary in common shared areas is a start.
NTA at all. It’s a genuine health issue if she’s not washing her hands after and if your shared fridge is next to her boogers….that’s just nasty. I’d suggest bringing it up to her calmly and explaining that you’d prefer if she did it in private and that it’s unsanitary for her to be flicking them on the floor and that she needs to be washing her hands afterwards because of the spread of germs.
NTA. Tell her you found her snot on the floor the other day and it’s not acceptable. It’s unsanitary and unfair for you to have to experience that.
I hate it when my sister in law visits. Picking her fucking nose and throwing it on my god damn floor. She’s 35 years old. So fun.
As a nose picker myself, NTA. I’ve found the best strategy is to let it build up all day and then get all of it out while I’m in the shower. No mess and very satisfying breathing in all the steamy shower air with my freshly open nostrils.
NTA that’s gross. And I say this as someone who is forced to pick my nose because blowing doesn’t actually help (I have a sinus cavity deformity, blowing just scoots over the top of the pocket, which is a painful pressure when full of hard snot and I don’t always have the patience to do a neti pot).