I (22F) recently moved out of my parent’s house. I live about 20 minutes away with my best friend. For the first month after I moved out, I kept my bedroom furniture and belongings in my old room at my parents. The reasoning behind that is that I occupy the second living room/guest area that is already fully furnished or I would have brought my furniture. I would regularly come into town to take care of my cat that also stayed with my parents. It was a deal between me and my parents that they would keep my cat and belongings for as long as I needed til I was able to have a place for it which is not til our other roommate moves out and I move into the room. I recently moved my cat to my new place and let my parents know the day I did. They said they were glad and asked when I would be coming to get the rest. I told them I was unable to at the moment since the roommate that is going to be moving will not be out until February and I had just found that out. They were a bit upset and started asking me all these questions about it and I tried to answer as best I could. I calmed them down or so I thought. I got a call the Sunday after and was told I needed to come get my things. I tried to let them know again I had no place to store all my belongings but they insisted so I talked to my bestfriend and she said I can use the shed. So I went to go get my belongings and lo and behold they had already began to transform it into a nursery for my sister’s children. Now I was admittedly a bit upset about it and told them that I thought it was a bit rude and that we had an agreement but they argued with me that my sister is needing it more for when her children come to stay over at their home. They told me I was being selfish and that since I’m not there, they can do what they want with the room. Which I said that we had an agreement and I felt pushed out since they didn’t discuss it with me. I would have been more understanding if they had of just talked to me about it instead. Here’s where I feel like the AH. I got a little heated when I felt they weren’t understanding where I was coming from about the room and told them I feel like they want to erase me from the house just to appease my sister. If you would look around the house, the only notice of me is a small picture of me on their wall in their bedroom. The rest is filled with my sister and her kids. I was upset and stormed out. Later I got a message from my mom that I was being irrational and that they didn’t see the harm in taking my room when I wasn’t using it. I told her it wasn’t about that it was the fact I wasn’t included in the conversation so maybe I could have helped pack my things and probably find a better place to store my stuff with better notice. I left it at that. Now I’m getting messages from my dad and my sister saying I’m an AH for acting like I’m entitled to a conversation about what they want to do with their house. AITA?
NTA. You had an agreement and they broke it.
Collect your things and go light/no contact/grey rock for 3 months. Then re-engage and see if you can build an adult relationship with your family that works for you.
There’s no point in going low contact they won’t even notice that he’s not speaking to them. They sound besotted by their daughter who apparently is more entitled to discuss their house than OP
You’re NTA
>They told me I was being selfish and that since I’m not there, they can do what they want with the room.
They’re wrong about you being selfish. Under other circumstances they’re correct that they can do what they want with the room, but they had an agreement with you and they’re changing the terms with no notice.
>the only notice of me is a small picture of me on their wall in their bedroom. The rest is filled with my sister and her kids.
Obviously there’s a lot more under the surface here but it certainly sounds like you have had 22 years of being low on your parents’ list of priorities.
This latest incident is probably a drop in the bucket of all the times you have felt invisible/unheard to your parents.
NTA. Well done, you moved out, they put so much stress on you but you came through it like a champ. Now you are fully independent of them and you can give them as much, or as little, time as you desire.
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