i (19,F) didn’t exactly get to enjoy my last year of school because i was studying to get into university that very same year. in my country you have to take an exam in order to get into public university (which is where most people aim to go) and you normally take a six-month course that should cover everything and also give you some time to practice. long story short, while most people would wait until they’re done with school to take this course, my parents advised me to take it as i was about to start my second period in my senior year of school, to save time and not wait a whole year. i’ve always prioritized my studies so i didn’t really mind, though i was a bit bummed about missing my end-of-
the-year trip.
anyways, i spent those last six months very stressed of course, and anyone who was around me would know just how much getting into college right away mean to me. fast forward to december, when the trip would take place. most of my friends went, and coincidentally, my first exam was the day they arrived there. no one wished me luck and although i was very much on edge about the exams, i still felt pretty sad. i ended up passing every exam and honestly, i did really well considering the double work i had to take on. all of my friends congratulated me from far away but i couldn’t let go of the feeling of disappointment.
so now, a few days ago, my friend took her admission exam. i didn’t say anything to her, first because i had forgotten it was that day and then, she posted about it, but those petty thoughts kinda got to my head and i didn’t say anything. later on she talked to me about it, i wouldn’t say she confronted me or anything, but i could tell she was distant and maybe upset? idk. i get it. i wasn’t truly thinking about it and normally don’t act out of resentment. i know doing something that bothered you to someone else isn’t the epitome of maturity, but i was truly upset and let my resentment get the best of me. so, aita for not wishing her luck before her exam?
YTA. Firstly, for maintaining this resentment to your own detriment, and secondly, because you knew you were being petty when you withheld the felicitation.
I am not offering any excuse for what happened to you. That is a separate thing.
ESH – They were thoughtless, and you were intentional. So I’d say you’re the bigger asshole in the equation, but it’s ultimately a non-issue. Don’t feel bad about it. Be good to each other!
An AH? I don’t think so. Silly? Absolutely.
You forgot it was her exam that day? Completely understandable. That’s life. Circumstances that people are intensely focused on in their own lives is not always central to yours. But for the most part, people you care about and people who care about you try and keep track, at least loosely.
What is silly however is *deliberately* missing an event to make a point. Deliberately causing negative feelings in those you care about.
If you feel your friends *deliberately* attempted to cause you harm when you were under pressure and sitting your own exams, why are you still friends with them? If you feel that they were just distracted by their own priorities that day, are you incapable of giving them grace under those circumstances? Did they follow up and check in with you later as to how it went?
Life is long my friend. Those you care about and those you love will drop the ball every now and then. There is lots going on and for the most part people will try and do their best. Or at least you should aim to surround yourself with people who will try their best. Give them space to try and care for you and do your best to return the favour.
NTA – but deliberately striking out at people you care about will not *make a point*. It just ripples more hurt feelings.
Yeah, you are a little bit.
No one wished you luck and you didn’t like it, so you didn’t wish them luck and now you’re acting surprised that they didn’t like it, but you already knew how it felt. You did it on purpose, whereas they were away and hadn’t been in your situation.
They were ignorant, but you were knowledgeable.
So sorry, but yeah, a gentle YTA
Its just an excuse to attack you. Walk away. Shes pathetic
ESH–what an odd thing to get bent out of shape about, both of you.