I am 24 and living with my mom’s sister. We rent in a house with three bedrooms and two other women also stay there. Over time they have all grown close and because I am the youngest, I have noticed how often they judge the things I do or say.
They comment on my choices, question my decisions and act as if their age automatically gives them more wisdom about how I should live my life. I understand that they have experienced more, but our generations are different and we do not always see life the same way.
There are personal things about myself that I choose not to share with them. It is not because I am ashamed, but because I know how quickly they can judge or criticize things they do not agree with. I have gotten used to keeping certain parts of my life private just to protect my peace.
But sometimes I wish I had the freedom to talk openly about what I am going through, my thoughts, my growth, the changes I am experiencing or the things I am learning about myself. Yet every time I think of opening up, I remember how easily they can make someone feel small with their comments.
Now I find myself wondering if it is better to keep my personal life to myself or if I should start sharing more even though I know I might be judged for it.
NTA either way. It’s up to you.
No you should not talk about you loosing virginity to moms sister, grandpa, classmates and generally to other people. Unless both of you mutually hinted they are ok with hearing about sex life.
Is the aunt telling you about her former sex life? If yes, she is weird. If no, take a hint.
They all do tell me what they did in their younger days where they brag about it and how many boyfriends they had to the point they want me to be like that and see it for themselves and point it out that how it should be but l don’t even tell them anything about my life to the point they get frustrated
NTA
> I think I might be the asshole because I chose to hide personal information about myself from my aunt and the women I live with, even though they expect honesty and openness in the house.
The words you used “Personal Information” it’s personal and none of their business, especially if they judge you for your choices, you’re young yeah, but that doesn’t mean they automatically know more than you
Just try to be responsible, wear protection and don’t go home with strange people.
It’d only be her business if you lost it to someone she is romantically involved with or directly related too, then ya, might be an asshole.
But I didn’t see anything in your post to indicate that.
NTA Family should be a safe place to share your innermost self. Does not sound like the case here. It is wise to protect yourself from judgements, and that is what it sounds like they give you. You want to share – those aren’t the people to share with. Best of Luck! Find someone you can share with! (68F here)
Your personal life is your personal life! Do not feed them information just so they can hash it over with you, as wisdom! NTA
NTA.
You are an adult, and neither your aunt or your other housemates have any right to judge your personal choices. Of course that won’t stop them from voicing their opinions. You are right to keep certain personal details private, because you will get only judgment and unsolicited advice from this flock of old hens.
Withholding personal information is not being dishonest or disrespectful. And you don’t have to lie. If they ask something too personal, you can simply say “that’s personal” or “I won’t discuss that with you.” If pressed, you can certainly also tell them that their questions are inappropriate and a violation of your privacy.
Hopefully you have some friends who are your own age that you can talk to, for the things you can’t share with these older ladies. Or you can certainly find a forum online.
YWNBTA. Honesty and openness doesn’t mean you tell them everything. It means you make sure to let them know about things that affect them. Everything else is up to you: what you want to share, with whom, when, and how much you share.
NTA
Theses people have a problem with themselves and feel insecure and tear you down to make themselves feel better.
They are not very loving or supportive.
Stay private. They’re just being nosey busy bodies.
NTA but I read that as “my Aunt Hat,” like her name was Hat.
If that was me, Id be making up a lot of stuff, just to wind them up.
How much wisdom have these women acquired if middle age finds them alone, living in a boarding house, and entertaining themselves by criticizing you?
NTA. There’s this thing called “privacy”. You’re entitled to it. You’re an adult. You get to decide which parts of your life to share and which parts not to share. Other people have no business complaining about where you set your boundaries.
“I don’t wish to discuss this” is all you should have to say. Don’t argue. When they press you, simply repeat that sentence until they get tired of hitting their head against the wall. If they feel disrespected, that’s their problem. Don’t let them guilt you.
NTA,
Literally no one has the right to know about your private sex life. The only exception to this rule is current sexual partners you have, and even then it’s just pertinent information for health reasons.
I come from a culture where it would be super weird to share your sexual history with your family. 😅 However, I know Americans can be very different.
That being said, if you can’t trust her, that’s all there is to it. No need to feel guilty. You need friends your own age to talk to.