I (18F) just recently told my parents that I want to move out, im going to limit what i share as k dont want to get too personal…(sorry for any spelling errors, I type fast and don’t really double check before sending things)
Here’s a bit of backstory/context, my parents are getting a divorce, yeah it’s not a big deal- things happen and people grow distant…my parents aren’t on good terms at all, my dad(52M) grows more and more agitated everyday and my mom(Technically step mom, 36(?)F) secludes herself a lot most of the day, if she’s not holed up in the living room where she sleeps on her phone, she’s spending the night at my grandparents to get away from my dad.
I will admit. I’m not in a place in life where most 18yro should be, and I understand that…I had been talking to a friend on how I feel at home and how I need to get my shit together but for some reason don’t have the will to…my friend and their mom offered a space to stay to help me get on my feet
So I told my parents today about how I want to move out and neither of them are happy about it- saying I’m making a mistake and how it isn’t a good idea…but I just feel- trapped…I don’t want to stay somewhere that makes me miserable- I wake up already dreading the day…they keep saying I’m an asshole for wanting to move out and how it’s just going to stay the same once I move in with my friend and their family…but I don’t think so…i just dont feel safe or secure here-
I don’t expect this to get much traction- I’m just hoping to get insight and know if what I’m wanting to do is wrong…
Get out of there! You can’t get on your feet when you’re trying to navigate those vibes. It’s fine for you to free yourself!
(I meant to write “it’s time for you to free yourself” but autocorrect wanted you to know that it’s FINE. Autocorrect is correct.)
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she said STEP mother.
Nta- but make sure you dont take advantage of your friend! Help out around the house, get a job and save up for your own place! Good luck!
Thank you! And I Definately plan on it, I do not want to take their kindness for granted one bit
definitely NTA. you are 18. you can make this decision. if your dad and step mom are getting divorced, this should result in them living separately anyway. but how will support yourself and hopefully be able to contribute to your new household? will you be walking away from financial support from your dad and/or stepmom?
I don’t get any financial support from them actually, my friends mom and brother are in the works of getting me a job so I can help support, and even then I’ll be doing things like contributing to chores or helping around with things that need to be done…
No, you’re not the asshole for wanting to move out. You’re 18, your home environment is chaotic, and wanting peace, stability, and space to grow is completely reasonable. Your parents’ reactions come from their own issues, not because you’re doing something wrong.
That age gap is wild.
Nta- protect your peace and move out. Hopefully they will come around to it
You need to do what is best for your mental health.
NTA get out.
NTA. In addition to moving out, try to get therapy. You’ll need help processing what you have been thru.
NTA! Please, if only for a change of scenery, go and *refresh* your life perspective. You’re in a negative environment. While it’s certainly possible your friend’s home is also negative, it will almost certainly be a different *kind* of negative. Nothing is lost. Something may be gained. If you do move, i do encourage you to be open and positive. You’ll learn more about yourself and communication with others. Be helpful and contribute in ways you can (e.g., monetarily, housework, cooking, etc.). I wish you well.
NTA. Moving out will give you freedom and a more peaceful life.