AITA for refusing to apologize to my Dads gf and bringing up the past?

My dad and his gf have been together 10yrs. There has been a lot of issues over the years and have even broken up twice. Both my sister and I don’t like the gf and her kid doesn’t like my dad. My dad also has issues with the gf’s daughter and has made a lot of comments about her to me. Actually I have only met her twice so most of my opinion of her is based off what my dad and his gf’s have said. We will call her kid G for this story. Well G flies into town with her new bf for the weekend to visit. I kept my distance but called my dad when they flew out and the gf should have been at work. At some point I asked, “so was the bf just as crazy as G?” My dad got defensive and said, “she’s not that bad.” I was confused and started reiterating things he has said. He got more defensive and I probably should have dropped it but instead I also got defensive and said exactly how I felt. Come to find out, from my husband, days later, that his gf was actually in the car. Instead of ever calling me to talk about the situation he went through my husband, we will call J. About a year in of this I told J that I was done and dad had the opportunity to talk to me for a year and he never has. Dad finally reached out when I’m sure J told him what I said. He tried to guilt me into apologizing and I told him I wouldn’t apologize for saying what I still mean. He let me know if I don’t we will never have another holiday together and I told him that was fine, I’m use to him always picking his gf’s over his kids. This isn’t the first time we went a year without talking bc of her. Over a lot of back and forth I ended up getting on my childhood and told him some things that happened. He told me it wasn’t his fault that his child was too stupid to speak up when it happened. I explained what I seen from my mom and why I might not what to speak on everything and he also told me that wasn’t his fault. When I told him I wasn’t mad about what happened but wanted accountability because it was his fault for bringing new gf’s and their kids around and moving them in with us makes it his fault. My childhood consisted of moving every 6months to a year and mostly with a new woman. He told me he was just trying to find the right person and he wouldn’t be able to tell without seeing how us kids interact with each other. I ended the conversation with I won’t take all the responsibility and if you want me to apologize you can stand right next to me and apologize for talking shit about her kid and telling me everything I repeated and in return I’ll pretend to be sorry for feeling how I feel about her and G. So AITA for bringing up unresolved trauma and refusing to apologize?