So I 36F moved back in with my mom 61F & brother 31M months ago. For context we’re all on the deed, I don’t consider myself a guest in this house, I consider myself 1/3 owner.
They’ve lost the keys, We exclusively use the garage to go in/out. Apparently its too expensive for them to replace the locks & they refuse to deal w/ multiple keys, I offered to replace them.
Several times a week I am locked out & can only get into the garage. I broke my back in 2014, it fucks with my bladder, my family knows this & have been asked many times don’t lock the inside garage door until I’m home. Yet several times a week I get home & I find the door has been locked, always by my (super paranoid, thats another subreddit) brother, he locks it as soon as he gets home, sometimes my mom catches it & unlocks it before I get home & sometimes she doesn’t.
When it first happened I brought it up to both of them, I reminded them I usually have to go really bad when I get home, even after going before leaving. It sucks. Its much like the scene in White Chicks after he eats the quiche but I gotta pee. He said he would \*try\* to remember.
So when I get home & I find the door is locked (9mos now & he still can’t remember) I feel like its disrespectful, like I fucking said "If the door is locked & I have to go, in the time it takes for one of you to come open it, I may very well piss my pants", so it feels like he doesn’t give a shit if I have something so disgusting happen. There have been a few times where I have & it was enough I had to change.
Secondly, I’m on the deed why am I having to knock & wait at a door like a fucking pizza delivery driver? Growing up I had a house key since I was 10, so what is this shit?
Anyway, heres where I may be the asshole..
Instead of calmly knocking & patiently waiting, I’ve resorted to just banging on it as hard as I can, I just use my foot, I’m not damaging the door but it sure is loud as fuck when I’m shaking & kicking the door.
They both get so angry when I do it but honestly what else am I supposed to do? They both game & wear headsets & its a "noisy" household so they didn’t always hear me when I knocked normally. I’m not going to be okay just standing there slightly pissing myself w/ that meek at someone else’s mercy attitude.
So AITA for banging on the door every time I’m locked out?
Tl;dr I might be the asshole for kicking the door every time I’m locked out.
NTA but why are you allowing yourself to be treated like a child? Is it not time to sell up your 1/3 ownership and buy yourself a nice little flat somewhere?
I’ve read countless “my family sucks” stories in this sub, but this one still surprised me about how non-functioning everyone could be in a “family” of 3 – while being all 30+ years hecking old.
I’ll give it an ESH.
Why OP?
Nobody in their right mind stops at “I offered to replace the lock, but didn’t replace it in the end, and suffered every-single-occasion after that with not even a single thought about replacing the lock”.
NTA but why don’t you just change the locks? Let them go through the garage and you can use the front door like a regular person. It’s a very simply diy task and then don’t even bother giving them then key.
NTA. They haven’t responded you both of your reasonable requests 1 replace the locks 2 don’t lock the inside garage door. Now’s the time to speak THEIR language.
Oh and by the way. Go and change the locks anyway. Wait inside with doors locked untilTHEY have to bang to gain entry. Then take your time opening the doors before handing them the new keys.
ESH…Yes, they’re ridiculous, but you’ve had nine months and you’re still playing their game. Just change the locks.
I find what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander. Change the locks (9 months and you haven’t done this yet? Why?) and don’t give them the keys. Force them to wait to get in just like you do. I guarantee their behavior will change.
YTA if you don’t do this (or change the locks to help yourself, ffs).
Is there like an option for “Yeah, a little bit of asshole but it’s justified”? NTA
Also when you change the locks maybe chose an option that is easily replaced.
ESH
You can very well change the locks yourself. You can get a decent keypad lock for less than $150 on a single door and then no one needs a key.
My step dad was like your brother. Broad daylight KNOWS people are coming over but has the locks all locked like they live in the hood. It’s exhausting. But I still wouldn’t bang on the door like I’m the cops.
Nta.
But some advice..just change the door locks yourself. They don’t cost a whole lot and are really easy to install.
INFO:
What’s stopping you from fixing the problem?
You’ve apparently been putting up with this situation for nine months. Why? You could pick up the phone today if you wanted to, call a locksmith, get all the locks replaced, and have a brand new bunch of keys by tomorrow. Why haven’t you?
The answer to that can’t be “Because it’s not my house and I don’t have the authority”. You said yourself that your name is on the title deed and you consider yourself to be a one-third owner.
And it surely can’t be “Because I can’t afford it”. You told us you offered to pay for it. You’ve had nine months to save for it.
So what’s stopping you?
Also, if you’re living in a house with only one door as the exit, then you’re living in a firetrap.
This. I was gonna write something similar but I dont wanna steal your upvotes.
ESH just replace the locks. You have had plenty of time to do so.
Fucks’ sake. If they’ve lost the keys then change the damn lock and keep all the copies. Literally nothing chances for them but you don’t get locked out