We had an electrician over at our house to fix some wiring issues, I try to stay out of the way of workers because I’m sure most people aren’t super interested in small talk on the job. However the electrician was very friendly and he did initiate some small talk as he got to work. I then left him alone to work in peace, and went about my day cleaning. I drink a lot of water but due to a condition I have that affects my joints and muscles, I struggle with a lot of “easy” tasks.
I could not for the life of me get my Stanley cup open to put more ice water in it. I tried for ten minutes, using all the tricks I could think of, and couldn’t get it. Usually my husband does a lot of things for me, and since the electrician had mentioned his wife and 4 daughters in the one conversation we did have, I thought he might understand, he was about the same age as my dad and reminded me a lot of him, so I just felt like he gave off dad vibes and wouldn’t mind. I asked him if he wouldn’t mind opening it for me, he laughed heartily and said something to the extent of “yeah no problem, these things are such a pain in the butt!” He opened it easily, I thanked him, and that was pretty much the end of our entire exchange until he was done.
Later that night I laughed about it to my husband, about how I had had to ask the electrician for help getting my water bottle open because it was stuck again. He got really irritated with me, and said it was rude and out of line to ask a worker to do “unpaid labor” like that, and I was basically an inconsiderate AH for asking him. I told him the electrician thought it was funny, and didn’t mind doing it, but he said just because he was polite doesn’t mean he wasn’t mad, and that he was just being professional
Was I an AH for that? I won’t do it again, because I didn’t think about them being hired to do a job and feeling like they can’t decline something like that even if they wanted to. I normally wouldn’t have even thought to ask, but he had been so friendly, and I know he said he had 4 daughters and was a “girl dad”.
I recognize it was probably inappropriate and I won’t do that again, but I still don’t feel like I was really an AH, just an airhead. My best friend said that it was fine to ask him and that my husband was probably just jealous of having another man do something for me, which could be true but my best friend is always on my side so I don’t know.
Do you think it bothered the electrician? He was so nice and I hate to think that I offended him. I don’t personally know any electricians like that, but my husband said they just want to do their job and not have to talk to “lonely housewives” which was a weird comment because I’m not lonely and I always stay out of their way, and I wasn’t the one who initiated the friendly small talk, but it did make me think that maybe it could have come off that way if that’s something they have to deal with regularly?
Was I an AH or am I overthinking the whole thing?
NTA If he was getting paid by the hour he wasn’t losing out on any income in the literal minute it took him to open your water bottle for you. Your husband is being weird about this.
NTA. Manual workers are just people, just like we are, and if you got good vibes for him, if he wasn’t weird about it, no damage done. I don’t want to assume things about your husband, but I’d ask him if he wouldn’t have done a minor thing to help someone without a second thought.
>He got really irritated with me, and said it was rude and out of line to ask a worker to do “unpaid labor” like that, and I was basically an inconsiderate AH for asking him.
Your husband is being ridiculous. The electrician was at your house being paid by you to fix some wiring, it took him literally seconds to do and if for some reason it had taken an extended period of time, he would’ve charged you more for his time! At no point was the guy doing unpaid labour.
NTA and your husband is strange here. The electrician set the tone – otherwise you wouldn’t know he had 4 daughters!
NTA that’s a bizarre reaction. Like, I guess if you’d asked him to open a bottle, mow the lawn, empty the dishwasher, clean the cat box, file your taxes, and fix the roof, that would be an inappropriate. I have no idea why your husband would react like this.
I don’t understand it either. He’s not normally like that with me, which is why I was worried that I really had committed some sort of serious faux pas. I thought he would laugh about it with me, and seeing everyone basically saying the same thing, that he’s being ridiculous, is really confusing for me on why he would react that way.
It sounds like regular old insecurity. Does your husband get touchy about other interactions with men?
Anyway, NTA
Nta. Not like you asked him to help with the household chores. You asked him to open a water bottle. Your husband is being ridiculous.
NTA and what the hell is your husbands problem?
NTA, husband’s quick harsh reaction sounds like jealousy to me, just my 2 cents.
NTA. I did hvac service work for several years. I have done all sorts of things that wasn’t what I was there to do. If it’s a reasonable request, there’s no issue.
“Unpaid labor”?!?!? It took 4 times longer for your husband to have a tantrum about it than for the electrician to open your water bottle. Any normal human would do the same. NTA
Thank you!! I’m really relieved to hear people agreeing that I wasn’t weird or rude to ask him for help. I’m kind of a people pleaser by nature and I get such anxiety after so many conversations worrying that I said or did the wrong thing. I’m so relieved to read these responses!!!
NTA. This was a human to human task you were asking for, something you would ask any decent person within the distance of your voice to help with and one which took very little time or effort on their part to accomplish. It’s a bit like asking someone to briefly hold the door open while you’re bogged down with packages.
Your husband is projecting. Don’t stop asking people when you need this kind of help, even if they are in your employ. The electrician was not offended. I don’t know why your husband thinks that he is.