I (16F) have two younger cousins, S (14m) and J (12f). I consider them like my siblings. I was always made to give away my personal things to them even when they already had their own versions of said items/didnt care much.
For some backstory, since I was little, i liked to collect stuffed animals. For my sweet 16, my friends got me stuffed animals because they all know I like them, so i got probably 10 new ones.
My mom decided that she was going to send my cousins my things this year for christmas. She asked me about it, and I said that it was fine as long as it wasnt my stuffed animals. I have a bunch of old toys I don’t really care about anymore so I was fine sending those, but I do really like my stuffed animals and didnt want to send them because they have more sentimental value to me.
My mom comes into my room and starts grabbing stuffed animals off my shelf and screaming at me like "why can’t i take this one? you probably dont even remember where you got it from!" and then she would get mad at me when I remembered exactly where I got it from/who gave it to me because I have sentimental attachment to these things. She was literally picking up ones that mattered to me too, like this one stuffed panda my brother got me on his first visit back home, or this dog one of my best friends gave me before she moved across the country.
I gave my mom other things that I was fine with her giving away, like some old (untouched) art supplies. I also found some clothes that J would really like too. I was suggesting giving them some of my old things that they would actually like and use (S plays guitar and I have and extra amp and some other music related things he would really like that i offered to send instead).
She kept saying I was being selfish and she was disgusted to have raised such person, but I doubt that me not wanting to give them my stuffed animals is representative of how selfish i am. She said I was being immature in even caring about this stuff, but i really dont think its immature to have sentimental ties to things is it?
i feel bad because maybe I do just need to grow up, but i really do think shes being a bit irrational and unfair. AITA?
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NTA and I’m sorry she likes hurting you
NTA at all, dude—your mom’s wild for trying to guilt-trip you like that. Sentimental stuff is sacred, you don’t need to “grow up” for caring about your own things fr.
NTA
I doubt kids that age even want a bunch of random stuffed animals. Maybe a specific item, like a Pokémon, but probably not random ones from their cousin.
NTA- hide your stuffed animals. Your mom’s gonna get rid of them when you’re not home.
she has in the past with my clothes and stuff so i wouldnt be surpised. i have no where to hid them tho bc like my parents dont really respect my boundaries anyways and they would probably find them wherever i put them
any chance you can get a couple cheap ones and give them to her (and i’d say these are ones you’re willing to part with, since this seems to just be a power struggle for her)? or do you have any friends that could hold onto your stuffies for now? i’m so sorry, your mom is not reasonable or kind.
i might try doing that, maybe like thrifting some because then theyll look more loved too. my friend said she would hold onto some stuff for me tho too so i might utilize that
Take them with you, or they’ll be gone. Or, ask your cousins to keep them for you if they get any of your favorites.
yeah, youre probably right honestly 🙁
NTA I’m 57, have two kids, 22 & 24 and I have a doll collection. Your stuffed animals are yours. Your mother is unreasonable about them. I’m am worried that one day you’ll get home and your mother would have removed them all without your permission. Do you have anywhere else to keep them that your mother can’t get them?
Start giving away HER possessions to your family. Tell her she’s selfish when she complains.
NTA. Sounds like mom wants to look like a generous and well-off person by stealing from you. Mom is horrible. Hide your stuffies somewhere she can’t find them.
Your cousins aren’t much younger than you. Why would they want your stuffed animals? Nice of your mother to be so generous with your stuff. What does she care about? Maybe you should ransack her room and give her favorite things to your aunt.