New story with dad :/
For context, yesterday I(19mtf) went out with my mom (39?f) to a restaurant and ordered my dad(37?m) food. I was the one that took the food home, and set it on the counter, and went up to my room. I did not tell him that it was there. I did not think to tell him, I just walked off. He later text me “thanks for telling me my food was here.” and I ignored that. Just did not respond and continued on with my day. Well earlier in the week I was offered some weed bath salts to help my legs since my new job was killing them, so I asked my mom for them, she told me “sure! come down!” and so I did and out walks my dad and he says “maybe I should just ignore you like you ignored me, huh?” and I responded back to that “I’m not going to respond when you’re just trying to be mean.”
Later my mom explained to me that I still need to respond to him, and I ultimately agree with that, but that day is just for context, not the judgement.
Today, I end up doing errands all day and come home, take the trash up, talk with my mom on the porch about my day, and go inside. Dad immediately says “there’s no reason the trashcans should be down still. It’s been two days.” to which my mom responds “He (misgender:/) just took them up!”
I shrug, and go upstairs to my room and DON’T RESPOND. Apparently this pissed my dad off enough to go into a fight with my mom that I could hear from up here. It cooled down so I thought nothing of it, but then dad comes into my room and demands my phone. I ask him why. He demands it again. I tell him to tell me why. He takes my headphones and tells me I’ve lost them now and it’ll only get worse if I don’t give him the phone. I tell him to take them and go get momma, but she’s on a meeting, so that’s not possible. He keeps yelling at me to give him the phone until I finally tell him to calm down and talk to me. He did not calm down, but he did end up telling me that momma said for him to do whatever he saw fit because I was disrespectful and this was exactly the same thing momma talked to me about last night. I ended up just giving him the phone because what else was I supposed to do? I wanna talk to momma to explain my side but I don’t know why, it’s not like it’ll help. she’s made it very clear that no matter what all punishments are final. I have fucking work tomorrow, how am I going to get up without my alarms? I just got promoted and I can’t lose this.
He’s my mom’s husband who I’ve seen put a gun to his head, throw a phone next to my sister’s head to scare her. He’s made me start flinching at doors slamming and made me feel like I need to listen in to any raised voices I hear in this house to figure out whether it’s anger or otherwise. I don’t know if I love him. Am I being a moody teen reddit?
Are you really 19 because this sounds like a12 year old wrote it.
yes, sadly. I wish that I was that young still. I’d still be getting spoiled by nana lmao
Then, I feel for you.
NTA your dad overreacted to a tiny missunderstanding, and taking your stuff is not ‘discipline’ it was more of a control, you were quiet and not rude, you didnt do anything wrong.
[deleted]
that’s been the plan so far :/
First off, NTA. You are trapped in an abusive household and that utterly messes up your sense of normality. Taking away an adult child’s phone for *any* reason is not normal, doing it as a passive-aggressive way of getting mad that a teen isn’t paying enough attention to you is *bad*. The stuff you added at the end is so much worse.
Secondly, and you may already have heard this: get a bank account your parents can’t touch. Do not tell them about it. Start putting as much money as possible into it, even if you have to scrimp and save. Get your passport and any other critical documents, and put them somewhere that your dad doesn’t know about so that when the time comes you can grab them and go.
I wish I could say that you should stand your ground, but unfortunately your dad has made it clear that if you stand your ground he is going to hurt you. Instead, you just have to do your best to survive him until you can escape. Make a plan, figure out where you’re going to go. Figure out if you have friends you can move in with, and how much time you can safely spend away from home. One day, you’ll be on your own and he’ll be the one wondering why you never call and never visit and never admitting it’s because of who he is as a person.
Good luck.
I just don’t know how to justify getting my formal documents. momma would ask why.
is there anything you’d excuse you can think of?
If he noticed you were back from the restaurant, and knew y’all were bringing him food, why would you have to say anything? Tell him that isn’t even logical.
Is he step dad or bio dad? Just because “my mom’s husband.” NTA, he’s evil.
step dad
Idk what you can do to fix anything but I hope you stay strong 💪🏼 hopefully your mom has your back
Honestly I feel like you feel emotionally entitled but don’t value anyone else’s emotions…YTA