So for context, I (26F) work in a small office where I’m basically the accidental tech person. That’s not my job title but I just happen to be that person so every time they have to do test-run for any new tool or platform, it comes under me automatically. Recently only my boss sent me this AI-style tool he wanted to “explore for demos,” and naturally, I was the one stuck testing it. I even posted about it on other sub.
So coming back to this "tool", it was trash. It lagged so much my screen was buffering all the time. It was like a fake productivity kind of hack with just good marketing.
Now, my friend also a (26F) is a freelance designer who’s very into the whole Pinterest-core productivity lifestyle. She saw the same tool online and got obsessed, convinced it was going to revolutionize her workflow. She hadn’t tested it, but she was already planning to use it everywhere.
So I told her clearly (as I thought I should) that I had actually tested it at work and it wasn’t great. Just that she should try it once before committing her entire portfolio to it.
Well, she did not take it in a good way. She immediately got defensive and said I was “projecting negativity,” accused me of being “jaded because my office drains me,” and then said something like, “Just because it didn’t work for you doesn’t mean you get to crush my motivation.”
I absolutely didn’t mean it that way and didn’t even say anything that would make her think like that. She sounded like I had insulted her career rather than that tool.
Then she doubled down and said I “never support her ideas” and that I’m “always the first person to poke holes in things she’s excited about." Which is a lie because I literally listen to her vent about clients every week. I just didn’t want her to get stuck with the mess of the this tool I dealt with.
Now she is ignoring me and I’m wonder if AITA for telling her the truth?
Should I have just shut up and let her find out on her own?
NTA. Her all-or-nothing thinking isn’t your fault.
NTA. She’s a bit stupid to not try something out before committing everything to it.
You gave her an honest assessment of what you found and gave good advice to test it for herself first.
NTA. The friend sounds like the type of person where if OP hadn’t shared that info ahead of time, she would have then been mad that she hadn’t told her before she wasted so much time with it.
You can’t win with people who only want to blame others when things go wrong.
NTA. She sounds exhausting.
What’s the tool?
NTA
NTA. I wonder why people insist on having dumb friends 🤷♀️
Definitely NTA. You were trying to help and she went off the rails. That’s such a weird hill for her to die on. I guess at rhis ppint just let her find out on her own. At least you tried.
NTA. I think she’s projecting some of her fears or insecurities on you. Nothing you said discouraged her from continuing with her goals. In fact you trying to help her find the best tool seems very supportive.
NTA
All I can say is Wow.
She sounds so exhausting.
NTA
NTA. You tried to save her time and frustration (any maybe money?) by letting her know you had tried the tool and found it was a huge time waster. A reaction like “Aw, damn, it sounded so perfect. Guess it was too good to be true” would be reasonable. Even saying “I think it will work better for my uses, so I’m still going to give it a go” would be understandable, if she was really into the idea.
Accusing you of crushing her motivation and never supporting her ideas…well, it sounds like something that my sister with borderline personality disorder would say, because her disorder gives her very black and white thinking and makes her react pretty violently to any negative feedback or warning of any kind. What she deals with is called rejection sensitive dysphoria – she feels intense emotional pain at anything she perceives as criticism or rejection or failure. I can’t even tell her that she should bring an umbrella because there’s a chance of rain without risking a meltdown about how I’m ruining everything.
NTA
And as a designer, your friend should be doing all the work herself, not involving AI. That’s disgusting. As an author, I would never work with any designer or artist who uses it for my cover art.
I honestly think you ought to physically show her. Let her actually see it in action.
NTA for this
Though *do you* always shoot her down? Idk we don’t have that context so who knows, but maybe it’s just like built up frustration and less about this actual thing
NTA. Perhaps one day your friend will grow up and realize that “Pinterest-core productivity lifestyle” isn’t a career or a job or a real thing.