I left my hometown for 13 years, came back and there’s about 80 new extended family members (Mexicans, I know). My first cousin has 3 daughters aged 9, 10, and 11. They look very similar and are named Maria, Mariana, and Marina.
I’ve been called an asshole for not knowing which one is which. My mother is the godmother to two of them and they’re always around the house and I can’t remember which is which. I even recited their names to remember but forget by the next day. AITA?
NTA. I don’t even know any of my removed cousins. I’ve met them a few times and that’s the extent of the relationship. Of course I’m white, grew up in Appalachia, and most of my family is estranged because they’re shitty humans so maybe my situation isn’t typical. Idk.
Mexican families are like the universe: ever-expanding.
Mines not that big but my gran usually goes through 5 names before she gets to mine. She had 6 kids, 13 grandkids and now 17 great grand kids. It happens. lol
NTA – can barely remember the name of someone who tells me 5 mins ago. Don’t worry about it.
NTA
I have over 40 cousins of various degrees on my mom’s side (she has 12 brothers and sisters).
I can name 9.
Hahaha, been there! Southern, not Mexican. I recite the family tree to myself on the way to every party. So obviously, you are NTA in my book!
Can you tell them apart, just not recall their names? How about if you call them nicknames?
NTA. People’s brains are wired differently. What comes easily to some is not so easy to others.
Is there a term of endearment you can use instead of their names? “Honey” or something similar?
You need to be careful which name you choose, because some people will consider it patronizing and/or sexist. Be particularly careful if you’re male.
But if you’re a family member, and you say it with a big smile and genuine affection, it will probably be received in the spirit in which it’s intended.
My GP calls everyone “Darling”, in a warm, friendly manner that reminds me of Dolly Parton. She’s been doing it for the 30+ years I have been her patient. I don’t mind at all, and I doubt anyone else does.
I usually say “hey, what’s up!” And they’re like “just chillin” and I’m like “cool” and walk away. Luckily, we never get to the name phase lol
NTA – I mix my own kids up.
I’m crying lol 😂
PNW Washington guy here. What the hell is a “first cousin once removed?”
I’m also a PNW Washington guy. So, if your mom has a sister. That’s your aunt. If your aunt has a child, that’s your “first cousin.” If your first cousin has kids, those are your “first cousins once removed.”