I(18f) have an ex(19m) who I dated back when I was 15. The relationship ended pretty badly and now after 3 yrs it was all fine. The problem was when a new instagram account of a girl kept giving me follow requests(I have a private account). I do not accept requests from unknown people so i ignored it. But the request kept coming everyday again and again, so i checked the account and somehow found that she was my ex’s now gf. I still ignored it. But then I asked a mutual frnd of me and my ex. And she said she had no idea on why she kept giving me req. At last I got pissed and asked the girl who she is in dm. She just goes, I’m ur ex’s gf and i wanted to talk to u. I just went I have nothing to talk about. But she still kept saying something and the asked me why we broke up. I told her that it was none of my buisness talking to her and to ask her bf. But she still kept insisting. I just said that we did not suit each other so we broke up and to pls stop giving me anymore follow req. She still kept talking… So, i blocked her.
And then my ex goes to our mutual frnd and calls me a B word for trying to ruin his life after all this time(His reasoning was that he was in a relationship and I was not because of which i was jealous.. acc to him). This made me so irritated. And I just said if he does not want me to talk to his gf, he should have never given my instagram id to her and she should not have kept spamming me with requests.
But the frnd of mine says it was my fault for talking to the girl, since she only gave req and i was the one that starte the conversation. So, aita??
NTA. She spammed you with follow requests for days. You didn’t start anything, you asked her to stop bothering you. That’s completely reasonable.
Your ex giving her your instagram and then getting mad at YOU for the conversation is wild. He set this whole thing up and now wants to play victim. And your friend saying you’re at fault because “she only sent requests” is ignoring that repeated unwanted contact is harassment.
You handled it fine. Block and move on from the drama.
NTA. Blaming you is wild lol. You literally refused to talk to her from time to time. How is that destroying THEIR relationship?
NTA and your ex sounds like a piece of work.
“But the frnd of mine says it was my fault for talking to the girl, since she only gave req and i was the one that starte the conversation.”
It is a bit weird on the new gf’s part but there’s no such thing as an unwritten law that says you must completely shut your ex-partners’ new partners out. Why should you?
Andere Länder, andere Fritten, as we say in Germany: Different country, different customs. But this makes no sense. NTA.
Sounds like she wants to verify/confirm what he has said to her. His reaction confirms that.
Things are not going well.
I totally get that you have no obligation in this respect but maybe spare her a few minutes, make sure she’s OK? Again no obligations here!!!
I did I asked if something was wrong and she said that she wanted to know more abt him through me. I just said that he was not right for me and so i broke up. But she kept insisting that there was some other rsn and I was hiding it from her….
NTA. You didn’t attempt to contact her, she was contacting you. So just keep her blocked. This is sounding very high school drama.
NTA and it sounds like your ex, his girl, and your friend all have some growing up to do
> The relationship ended pretty badly
How badly? Is it true that you just weren’t compatible, or was he (God forbid) mistreating you in any way?
You do *not* have any obligations here, like another commenter said; you are also certainly *not* responsible for anything someone else does. *And* if indeed he ever did hurtful things to you, it may be worth considering the same things are happening in this new relationship as well.
Or… she could just be like experiencing really terrible retroactive jealousy or something.
This is obviously all speculation on my part but it’s what came up for me.
Edit: detail, formatting
We broke up because I felt like he was dumping his emotional burden on me… He kept forcing me to do things i did not want to( I do not want to elaborate on what they were) and It just felt like I was struck somewhere.
You found her annoying, she kept friend requesting you, so why didnt you do the easy thing all social media sites let you do and block her?
I did at last….
Nah not the ah. I believe it a game they are playing. Just block and never respond to them. If your friends still think your the Ah tell her to move on. Don’t allow them to have access to you. You energy is way too valuable to share it with them.