So, for context, my boyfriend has ADHD and is on meds to help, but the meds aren’t strong enough and he feels like he needs to take drugs to help, particularly weed. Now, I don’t care all that much if he does that, so I’m willing to accept that, but he constantly says that he wants to do harder drugs, be a literal stripper, and live a reckless life where he feels like he’s constantly going to die.
To most people, that is not someone you would want to be with, I would assume anyway. Especially for me, I have tried my entire life to stay away from drugs and not to be that kind of person. I had an ex boyfriend who was that same way and I saw what it did to his personality and I decided I never want to be with someone like that. I want to go to college, I want to live a normal life with a happy family.
But I really love this boy. I don’t want to see him fall down that path, I really don’t. I’m willing to put in the work to keep him from doing that, but he just keeps saying the urges to do those sort of things get worse and I’m getting worried.
So last night, he was talking about it so much that it just made me so upset and instead of doing our usual facetime sleep call, I just hung up and he kept calling me back and I couldn’t take it so I just blocked him. I don’t know what to do now and I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong here for thinking and behaving the way I am.
NTA. Keep him blocked, break up. You don’t need this kind of problematic, unhealthy relationship in your life.
If only I had a dollar for every woman who has said “I can save him”… he is on his own path of self destruction and trying to take you with him. He needs help, and professional help at that.
NTA. I feel sorry for him but he sounds like a train wreck.
I too have ADHD but also anxiety, depression and OCD.
NTAH
I’ll say this much, regardless how much you love your boyfriend, get the hell away from him. He is clearly unhinged and requires to be institutionalised. Because of his affliction his suggesting of what he wants to do next is not just a mere suggestion, he is either voluntarily or involuntarily seeking “permission”.
I only see damage being the outcome of your relationship with him, it’s great that you love and support your boyfriend but he definitely needs a different manner of support & care.
For everything you do for him you will never get any reciprocation back only harm either physical, emotional or mental.
NTA, and his logic is seriously flawed, no wonder the medication isn’t working if he’s using weed, which has the exact opposite effect of ADHD medication.
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NTA. You can’t save him. You can’t waste your life trying to save him. He has to put in the work to save himself. He will drag you down with him if you let him. Never sacrifice your dreams and moral compass for another person. Does it sound selfish? Yes. But if you don’t put yourself first who will?
When you block someone, consider that a sign from yourself that it’s time to break up.
ADHD meds are stimulants, mixing with weed is undoing what good the meds are doing. What he’s doing is ridiculous and dangerous.