My (32m) girlfriend (29f) has recently received some complaints from her housemate.
She recently moved into a new house 2 weeks ago, and unfortunately the house was built poorly 20 years ago and the walls are paper-thin, also she has a housemate living in the room next to her. There are 4 girls renting the house in total.
I have been staying with my girlfriend 1 to 2 nights per week over the past 2 weeks, because she lives an hour away and we don’t like to spend too much time apart.
Where we whisper to each other and tip-toe around the room and sleep early, my GF still gets texts (including one into their house group chat) after I stay there from the girl in the room next door saying that she can hear a lot.
The housemate is complaining that she can hear an echo in her room, even when we are whispering. This is often in the evening at 8-9pm. She says its impossible to be in her room because of these echoes from whispers.
Personally, I think part of the problem is that its one of those houses where if you step in your room it makes creaking sounds in another.
One of the other girls has her boyfriend over at the house 2-3 days a week but she has been living there longer than the girl who is complaining about the noises now.
They all have a separate contract with the housing agency, so there are no issues there.
AITA here, and should I stop staying at the house, or is the housemate being unreasonable?
Get a white noise machine.
Get her a helmet
Nta – as someone suggested whitenoise machine and get both your girlfriend and her neighbour to put stuff up on the walls to absorb sound. Also ensure beds aren’t sharing a wall
Echos from whispers?
NTA. If she can hear WHISPERS then it’s her problem lol. How are you supposed to make no noise staying in a room? Any activity creates noises. You even said yourself that walking around creates creaks.
I personally suggest you listen closely to see whether you can hear noises coming from other rooms. If not, she’s definitely unreasonable.
NTA, if youre doing everything you can to be quiet and shes hearing “echoes of whispers” (what?) then I think its kinda her problem now. Given your gf has just moved in I do think its good to try and be as respectful as possible, maybe avoid her room for anything but sleeping for a while, but some people are just impossible to please.
NTA – Nobody needs to be whispering at 8pm.
NTA. She’s probably just making that up. Hearing echoes from whispers? Really?
Tell the roommate to get her ear off the wall! She is trying to hear noises that aren’t there. Sounds like she is trying to bully the “new girl”.
First your girlfriend and another housemate should go into the others room with permission. While the complainer and the other housemate go into the girlfriends room. Talking at the normal level and whispering. Seeing what is actually being heard. Switch housemates between the two rooms so everyone can see what is heard.
If it is actually an issue… Sound proofing. You can easily add thick curtains on the walls to help with sound deafening. As others. Have said a sound machine. Or contact the owner to see if they could have some sound proofing installed.
NTA- echos from whispers make it impossible for her to be in her room? She’s being dramatic. They’re in a shared living situation. Wanting complete silence is an unrealistic expectation. If you and your girlfriend are genuinely being considerate and making efforts to keep noise levels down at night, that’s all you can do. If noise is that bothersome to her roommate she needs to be living alone. If she can’t afford that, then she’s going to have to learn to expand her tolerance levels.
Could the issue be heating ducts conducting the sound? If not, hang inexpensive thick rugs on the shared wall. She’s likely being petty but don’t out the burden on her. She can also get a white noise machine or earplugs. I’m less certain a white noise machine in your girlfriend’s room would help next door but it might as it will blue what she can hear.
Tell her to get a fan and keep it on to muffle sound. Or a white noise machine.
If she can hear whispers that’s her damn problem, she should go work as a spy n buy her own damm house