For context I have this friend let’s call her “Lily” so basically Lilly has been my day one best friend I absolutely love her and we’ve been through thick and thin. But this girl she is very obsessive when it comes to dating and it’s not a bad thing if she regulates it’s. So recently she got a new girlfriend and I’m so happy for her but she constantly is talking and on the phone with her even not picking up the phone when I’m trying to call her which is fine I can deal with it. But yesterday I invited her to dinner for my birthday and we were chatting and having fun i asked how they met and we talk all about it. But for the rest of my birthday dinner she wouldn’t shut up about this girl and it started to upset me. She’d look uninterested when I brought up the guy I’m talking with and then change the subject. The whole dinner she would constantly text her gf and they even got in an argument since the gf is a major pot head and it upsets her so I try and be nice and comfort her. Fast forward dinner ends and I ask if she wants to go out shopping and we do and we’re at a small strip mall and we go into a store and I start shopping and we’re chatting all is going well until gf texts asking if it’s ok to smoke her weed and she flips out. She leaves me all of sudden in aisle alone to go yell at her gf on the phone. I’m pissed now I visibly look upset and she returns and can tell but continues to be on the phone with her gf and I try and smile and I try to be nice but I’m irritated as hell because mind you it’s my birthday night but I suck it up and I drive her home and now I’m gonna get my gift. On top of everything for context I love this girl so I spend a lot on her last year for her birthday I spent $60 dollars on her and not to be like spoiled or anything I asked if she could get me a few simple and cheap things like a lush bath bomb, body wash and like some candy. When I’m handed my gift I got 4 items no lush, the body wash and some candy. I’m grateful I say thank you even tho I’m a little disappointed she goes on to tell me when she went to target with the left over money that she used to get my gift she got a necklace with her gfs initial on it (they started dating 4 days ago). So when I got home I did the math my items were $10 all together and I saw the necklace she brought it was $25 so she had $36 to spend but gave me $10 to buy a necklace for a girl you just met. So AITA for being pissed this night when Lily was on the phone with her gf? (Also ps this is my first time writing here lol)
should’ve left her in the aisle honestly. sounds like she needs a timeout from the love bubble. birthday deserves better than third wheeling her phone relationship.
NTA but why you still friends with this girl? She treating you like trash on your birthday bro 😡 This is not cool behavior at all
NTA. I think you should have taken out your phone and text your friend (yes, I know most of time she is right beside you). You could text some simple question or ask if she is liking her meal. Anything really. Then send another text, then another. If she says something to you about it reply that she seems to want to use her phone instead of actually talking to her best friend she has known for years.
As for going shopping with her after birthday dinner, that was an obvious mistake. I would tell her that you are happy she has met someone though being a druggie wouldn’t have been your choice of a friend for her. I would say that you will be there for her when she has had a relationship with this person for a while and can concentrate on more than her new found friend.
Leave her and keep any contact short for a while until she gets over this first flush of dating someone new.
NTA ofc
In this situation I think she is asshole. I mean, it’s ur birthday, she could have spent at least one day with u and not stuck on the phone with her gf. Ahh i really hate such friends. And a gift? Dude are u seriously? My advice is specifically for u – just give her 10$ for her next birthday. She really deserved it. I doubt that u should continue being friends with her if she’s acting like this.
NTA. If she’s that type of person when she gets into a relationship, then there’s really no point (IMO) to hang out with her. Might be time to build on other friendships or seek new ones.
NTA for sure but one thing I’ve learned is this, “never expect the same from someone, what you’ve done for them.” She may have only spent $10 but that’s her business. She may have bought a necklace that was more expensive, but that’s her business. I totally understand it hurts your feelings and your feelings are valid. But, you can’t hold that against her. How she treated you that night, being on the phone fighting with her gf, that’s unacceptable. But I see the takeaway being you’re mad she didn’t spend more on you and that’s pretty selfish too along with her actions of the night.
First, stop exchanging gifts, or just get something small. Gifts shouldn’t be something required so you get angry when they spend less than you did or don’t get what you want.
But of course you’re NA for being upset that they were on the phone the whole time.
If this is something they do a lot, you may want to reevaluate the relationship. If it was unusual that she did that, you should talk to her later about how that made you feel and go from there
Are you guys in middle school?