I share a room with 3 other girls in my college hostel. Two of them have boyfriends, and both of them talk to their guys pretty loudly. One of them is bearable, like she doesn’t talk 24/7. But the other one is getting on my nerves.
She is on call literally all the time. From the moment she wakes up, theyre on call. When I’m trying to study, she’s giggling loudly, flirting, storytelling and all tht bs with that guy. When I’m trying to sleep at like 2-3 am, she’s still talking. When I wake up in the morning at like 6 or 7 am? Yup. Still talking.
But whenever I hop on games , and that too only for like an hour, and talk with my online friends, and i swear a lot with them, then she asks me to lower my voice by saying "excuse me I’m talking with my boyfriend"😭😭wtff broo. like hello? I never said anything when you’re with your guy and now you can tell me to lower my voice.
Me and my other roommate are constantly disturbed. I can’t focus without wearing earphones, and even then I can still hear them.
She doesn’t study, doesn’t do anything productive, just talks, meets him, sleeps. How unemployed can someone be?? I get that it’s her room too, but disturbing others 24/7 is not okay. It’s a shared room and we needa have boundaries.
Yesterday I couldn’t hold myself. I was sleep deprived and was trying to sleep, while she was chatting away loudly and acting all lovey dovey, I told her she needed to stop talking so much and maybe rethink her relationship if she can’t function without him and requires this much constant communication. Cause it’s literally codependency and it’s NOT healthy.
She got quiet and stopped, but now I feel kinda bad. I didn’t mean to sound like I was telling her to break up, but it came out harsh.
So AITA??
You advised her to cease constantly disturbing a shared room, which is fundamental roommate etiquette, rather than telling her to end the relationship. She has been disrespectful for months, disregarding your boundaries, your sleep, and your studies, but she still expects you to whisper whenever she pleases? That is not love; that is entitlement.
Because you were tired, what you said came across as harsh, but to be honest, you weren’t incorrect. It’s not your job to live inside her romantic comedy soundtrack, and making constant phone calls throughout the day is unhealthy.
The wake-up call was necessary for her.
If anything, she should apologize to you for bringing her relationship to life for everyone in the room.
Breaking up won´t solve the problem. She´ll find someone else sooner or later, and things will go back the way they are now.
She needs to act \*far\* more considerate towards her roommates, or move out.
Nta. but all the roommates need to sit down and set quiet hours where convos happen outside the apartment,
This. They all need to decide on what’s acceptable, and when. The constant chatting would drive me insane, but so would loud gaming. All of it needs to be discussed and parameters set.
Agreed, i gotta discuss this with them. Also I don’t play everyday, and whenever I do, it’s for 30mins to 1hr. I don’t play while they are studying or sleeping. But her talking for the whole night and day without giving a fuck what others are doing would piss off anyone
> she doesn’t study
The problem will resolve itself soon enough
NTA, If she got quite and stopped then congrats, you helped her realise that she’s been doing sth wrong. I guess time will tell if she starts talking again loudly for hours on the telephone
I don’t know if you’re an asshole for it but you were definitely very harsh for not much reason.
I can see how her actions are rude and entitled. She’s definitely an asshole, but have you actually spoke to her about her behaviour? And I don’t mean a snarky “shut up or break up” comment.
I mean “hey, so you’re actually quite loud when you’re on the phone with your partner and it’s disturbing our sleep. I know you want to be on call with your partner but this is our room too and need some quiet especially at unsociable hours. I know you understand the need for quiet because you’ve imprecisely expressed a similar sentiment to me over my games”
And if the behaviour doesn’t cease you should robably go to your uni about this as it’s affecting your studies
nta she rang your bell, you answered. well done
Yta for not communicating sooner. You wait till you’re aggravated and sleep-deprived. So you don’t choose the right words and you come across as harsh and not really concerned for her i this relationship
Sight YTA but really- Maybe everyone should sit and have an actual normal conversation on roommate etiquette and house rules. You all sound grating to each other. Everyone seems to have a tone and volume issue, and you aren’t family or lovers so you will easily get annoyed by each other. You need to have basic set boundaries and also basic respect for each other. Waiting a couple months in to snap at her doesn’t help. Just made things tense and now you’re on reddit.
Do yourself a ridiculously huge favor early in life and learn to communicate and compromise with those in the same situation as you. Or else have shitty roommate problems for years to come
NTA. You said what you should say, in my opinion, it was necessary to do it after the first day
Nta
Snapping sounds justified here.
You need house rules. Quiet hours, honestly I’m surprised noone has suggested them yet. Simply, no TV, movies, music or loud talking between certain hours, no showers!(That one sounds odd, but we had a pump to increase pressure which was noisy, people just got on with it and showered at non-quiet times)
Absolute god send the first house I shared with someone inconsiderate and the others brought it up.
Between 10pm and 7.30am, is quiet time. You wanna watch a movie, listen to music, put on headphones. You wanna have a conversation then you had better be in a shared space, not a personal space(unless it’s your own) and you shouldn’t be heard by others. If you can’t do that, don’t do it or leave and go somewhere else that you’re not bothering others.
Sleep is non-negotiable. Everyone has a life, everyone has things to do. You’re not entitled to screw everyone else over.