In August I bought a new computer which I saved the money for over the summer costed under 1000. I invite my sister to play a game with me on the computer she uses my old and I use my new computer that I bought, well my dad puts his nose in and says how about you let your sister use your new computer I said no and told him there’s a perfectly good computer down stairs( my old one) that runs just fine still. He gets mad and says I’m being selfish and that’s why your relationship is falling apart I ignore him after that. Last month I cought her getting pizza rolls which were mine that I went to the store and bought and I say those are my pizza rolls and all she said is that their just pizza rolls and she did the same thing recently with these yoo-hoo drinks that I also bought myself which cause my dad to say that I’m childish and ruining our relationship as sisters. I also found out that she’s been using my shampoo and conditioner that I also buy. And at a cook out with family she was ripping out pages out of my sketchbook that I carry around but did too many and she couldn’t get the pages so she preceeds to keep ripping it till the metal ring on the were coming undone and it was just a ball of bent metal. She also said the same thing of its just a notebook and its not a big deal and it’s just a notebook. Everytime I call her out on this stuff she’s brushes it off and says it’s not a big deal. She also had a doctor’s appointment a week ago her dumb butt forgot to put a shirt on under her hoodie so i offered her my shirt cause she has to do a stress test as soon as we were on the road home I asked for my shirt back cause I was getting chilly even tho I had a hoodie on it cause another speel of me being a jerk and ruining the day according to my dad who was on the phone at the time. Our dad also says I’m being greedy and selfish along with childish and says it’s not a big deal. She says she gave the shirt back when we got home but I can’t remember if she did or not. Our dad also tries to blame it on why our relationship was failing. Mine and my sister’s relationship is getting better tho slowly but not if she keeps doing this stuff I have to hide my food and stuff from her or she’ll eat it or steal it. I don’t think I’m being childish at all and it’s not a big deal for them but it is for me cause I bought it. If they’d ask for the food I would share like I don’t have an issue with sharing with but not if I’m going to be taken advantage of and that’s what it feels like rn. Our dad also asked to barrow 20 dollars and when I asked for what he blew up on me and said nevermind( he could have just said so we can get into the fair). I feel like my feelings are being completely pushed aside and like I’m being gaslighted and guilt tripped by my dad. The whole thing is starting to get to me.AITA tho cause idk at this point if I am or not sorry if this goes against the rules of this subreddit
First of all: paragraphs please.
Second of all: how old are you and your sister? Is she younger or older than you?
Thirdly: your dad is completely enabling her and encouraging her to behave this way. She’s clearly the golden child. She’ll end up facing the consequences for this once she’s out in the real world (I’m assuming she’s like 13? Idk) but for now you’re unfortunately stuck with them. Are you old enough to move out?
Sorry about the lack of paragraphs I don’t use reddit much but there’s 3 years between us. She’s like 17 years old. I am old enough too but I don’t have anywhere else to go unfortunately I want to leave but I can’t. Our dad constantly belittles me over everything constantly but rarely says anything about her behavior
Grammar check
Yes, you and sisters ages would be helpful. Sister is definitely the golden child. NTA Next time you save money, save to move out when you’re old enough. Your dad’s TA here for absolute.
Paragraphs are helpful
NTA, but your father and sister are. We can not control others’ behavior, just our own. Work on establishing and maintaining boundaries until they become like the great wall of China and others learn to respect you.
I am going to suggest some language to assist you. When you call these two out on their behaviors and they dismiss it / you as no big deal, answer: “I feel disrespected, and that is a big deal to me. So, are you saying you do not care about me?” Also, say, “if taking and using my stuff is really not a big deal, then you should have no problem reimbursing me or replacing that.” And, “why are you so not capable that you think I should be supporting you, when I have never agreed to do so?”
First, I would suggest moving out. In the meantime, get a mini fridge for your room and a lock for your bedroom door. Your life, your choice. Be strong and stand firm. Good good luck.
I would love to get a mini fridge but my dad as usual says I have too much stuff plugged in and I’m the reason for the electric bill being so high most of my stuff is off most of the time otherwise I would and not a bad idea of putting a lock on my door tbh
NTA
I don’t know how old you are, but you really need to investigate leaving home. You’re getting zero respect there and your boundaries are constantly being crossed.
NTA. Tell your dad you aren’t ruining your relationship with her. Tell him he’s ruining her chance at future relationships because he’s raising her to be entitled and greedy
Get a locking cabinet. Lock your stuff up and do not leave the key about. When your dad says you are ruining the relationship, tell him, “No, your sibling is by stealing your stuff you worked to buy, and he is increasing the conflict by not teaching her personal responsibility.”.
Then, keep saving to move out once you hit 18. Keep it in a locked area.
NTA
I’m past 18 already but I’m trying to save for doing something tho it’s difficult tho
Ask around to see if close friends are ready to move as well. Roommates can make a difference. Just be certain to discuss boundaries for food, visitors, and cleaning.
Okay ty