Hi all, I’m going to keep this short.
Me (22F) am engaged. I’m going to be married to my beautiful fiancé (20M) in 2 months. We have practically got everything ready. My dress is ordered, his tux is ordered, food, catering etc. It’s all ready to go..expect one bridesmaid’s outfit, my longtime friend (25F). The color theme for my wedding is pink and gold, a mix of me and my fiancé favorite colors.
The bridesmaid dresses are pink, a pastel pink. I let my bridesmaids choose the shape of the dress for the wedding as I want them to be comfortable. One of my bridesmaids is wearing a tux as they are more masc presenting. The issue is, my friend who I’ll call Alice has suddenly decided she doesn’t wanna wear pink nor a dress even tho this was decided months ago. I had even paid for half of all the bridesmaids dresses and had paid half for hers.
Two weeks ago she as I said, decided she wasn’t gonna wear it, and that it had to be a black tux. I said that I wasn’t gonna pay for another outfit and that if she wanted a black tux even tho I wasn’t happy about it as it wouldn’t fit the colour theme she would have to pay for it herself. I told all my bridesmaids that I’m happy with them wearing what they want as long as it’s pink. She doesn’t care tho, and is expecting me to pay for a half of a black tux.
I explained that I won’t be doing that and that I already paid half for the dress she picked out. She’s gone and had a massive fit too all my bridesmaids who say I should just cave and get the tux because my wedding is 2 months away. AITA?
Edit: I forgot to add this in the original post, my friend prefers black and is more masculine, but they chose a dress, I would of been perfectly fine with them chosing a tux as long as it was pink.
NTA
Given that you have no issue with them wearing a tux, there is nothing wrong with enforcing the weddings theme colors with your bridesmaids outfits.
Did you know that pink was originally considered a color for boys?
Thank you, and yeah I knew about that. I even told her that to try to make her more comfortable but she won’t budge.
some people seem to be happiest when the get to be upset by trivial stupid shit.
Pay her no mind. I wouldn’t engage anymore.
NTA lol you literally gave them the option to wear a tux if they wanted, they chose a dress and now they’re flip flopping and making it your problem. You absolutely do not have to pitch in for their new outfit. The fact that you’re letting them choose black even though it messes with your theme is more than I would’ve done lol
NTA- she is being selfish expecting you to budge with your colors AND to pay for it.
NTA, it’s your wedding, you paid for it. It kind of sounds like she’s trying to get out of being in the wedding. Are the dresses expensive? Are the bridesmaid duties pretty involved? Is she a good friend who doesn’t usually try to do this to you?
NTA. Tell her if she wants to wear the black tux she’s more than welcome to as a guest, not a bridesmaid. You didn’t pay for any other guest outfits so why pay for hers 🤷🏼♀️ Your wedding is the one time everything should be about you (and fiancé) and what you (and fiancé) want. If she doesn’t wanna respect your wishes, that’s on her.
I feel like this is the answer. No one questions what color the bridesmaid outfits, you just suck it up and wear it for one night because you’re there to support your friend, not make it all about you and your color preferences. If they have a problem with the color they can be a guest and wear whatever they want.
NTA. You already let your bridesmaids pick their style and even paid half for the dress she originally chose. The wedding has a pink and gold theme. Wanting her outfit to fit the theme is completely reasonable.
She can wear a tux if she wants but if she insists on black she should pay for it herself. Expecting you to cover that is not okay.
You have to decide how much of a friend she is to you. Sadly, in my mind she is not really a friend. Your wedding, your rules. This is drama you don’t need. All you are asking for is for her to be part of the group for a few hours. Wedding and photos. You are not the AH. It’s pretty pathetic that she is acting this way. If this were me, I’d relieve her of her bridesmaid duties,
NTA
You’ve already put out money for the dress. You can ask her if she thinks it’s fair that you are now out money because SHE changed her mind? (I assume she knew you were putting down a down payment for her dress).
As others have said, she’s wearing the dress, or is welcome to wear a tux as a guest and someone else (if you wish) can step in as bridesmaid and wear the dress, if that matters to you.
It sucks that people get weird at weddings, it’s hard enough to plan without people changing stuff.
NTA – your friend is rude and entitled. Not even trying to chip in for the last minute request is 🤯
NTA.
You paying for half the original dress was already more generous than a lot of brides. The fact that she changed her mind after the first outfit was paid for is not your fault.
What about a black suit with a pink tie? Or something matching the groomsmen so she doesn’t completely stick out?
If she is being too demanding and wanting to draw attention to herself, then it is okay to fire your bridesmaid. One of the groomsmen can walk alone or escort an elderly relative to their seat