I (28M) have been dating my girlfriend (26F) for about five months. Things have been great, we’ve gotten pretty comfortable with each other. We often hang out after work, and she usually brings her gym things because she works out before coming over.
For the past couple of weeks, I started noticing a really strong, sour smell whenever her gym bag was in the room. At first, I brushed it off because it’s normal for a gym bag to. smell sweaty. But it became a regular thing, and even when the bag was zipped, the smell was still noticeable.
I didn’t want to embarrass her because I know hygiene-related topics can feel personal. But it eventually got to the point where it was difficult to ignore, and I worried she might not realize something had spilled or molded inside the bag.
So one calm evening, I brought it up as softly as I could. I said something like, “Hey, I hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, but I think something in your gym bag might’ve gotten damp, it’s been smelling a bit off lately. Just wanted to let you know in case there’s something you need to wash.”
She immediately got upset and said I was rude for pointing it out, and that I must not like her if I’m paying attention to things like that. I tried to explain that I wasn’t judging her at all. I genuinely thought she’d want to know if something was wrong with her stuff. But she left shortly afterward and hasn’t responded to my messages since.
Now I feel terrible. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I was just trying to be honest in a respectful way. But maybe I shouldn’t have said anything?
So… AITA for bringing it up?
NTA. You were concerned for her health, which is valid. You also brought the issue up politely. Hopefully she will communicate with you in the future instead of arguing and ignoring your messages.
Absolutely NTA. Nothing wrong with what you did as long as the narrative is accurate.
NTA, that’s just calling it as you see it… or as you smell it.
I don’t understand your gf you didn’t approach the issue in front of anyone and she should know to wash your gym bag often. NTA and gf is overreacting
NTA. That was a nice, nonjudgmental way of saying it. Bad smells are a part of life and tbh she seems a little immature here
yeah, i thought i was being gentle about it. didn’t expect her to react strongly
Her reaction strength was on par with the odour strength
NTA. She’s embarrassed, and her display of anger is her trying to mask the embarrassment. I think you did the right thing though.
NTA. That’s a weird reaction.
I have a satin-lined shower cap. Once, my bf and I were getting into the shower, and he goes, “Um, your hat needs a bath.” I just tossed it in the sink and washed it later.
It ain’t that deep.
Exactly! i was hoping it’d be a simple thing she could fix without it turning into a big deal.
“Your hat needs a bath” is just the cutest. I hope you guys are deleriously happy.
NTA. In fact, the way she handled your thoughtful comment is a red flag. You might have dodged a bullet.
NTA. She wildly overreacted, assuming you’re describing this accurately. That wasn’t a comment on her own hygiene or a personal issue either, unless she takes laundry issues personally.
NTA. But I always wonder how people can be that nose-blind. She’s def just embarrassed 😞