I f21 live with mom f54 and sis f15. We grew up in a verbally/mentally abusive household with my dad (whos still in the picture) so we moved out 4 years ago and we’ve been living with my grandma and uncle. My sister has angry outbursts at my mom sometimes which is probably important to note.
I had a huge box that was shipped to me with snacks from overseas, but some of them bursted during shipping so there were many crumbs at the bottom. She told me to remove them from the front because the cleaning lady is coming tomorrow morning. I picked it up to show my mom and I didnt realize a trail of crumbs followed on the floor (the bottom wasnt taped properly) and my mom seemed a bit annoyed but I told her I would sweep it, but she told me she will do it and to bring the box downstairs, I brought it downstairs and dumped the crumbs out. I came upstairs, she said she wasn’t trying to get mad at me.
I then noticed more crumbs on the ground, she said the cleaning lady can do it tomorrow. I told her I just want to sweep it because my grandmas going to come home soon and dont want her to see it. She got mad at me for it and I asked her why shes getting upset that I want to help and clean up and that it doesnt make sense.
She said “then whats the point of hiring a cleaning lady” but I told my mom we always try to organize before the cleaning lady comes because the cleaning lady does in depth.
My mom just told me “you just don’t want to be told what to do” and I told her it’s not that, it’s that she’s getting upset that I am trying to clean up.
She went upstairs and slammed her door.
I used to be a big people pleaser and I am affected by people’s energy around me. In the early afternoon, my long distance boyfriend was assuming things and not believing me about something which caused an argument. im already in a fragile state of mind, ive been having constant passive S.I. and I plan to just ignore everyone for a few days, ive been sobbing and im very overwhelmed by everything.. I keep my issues to myself and try to deal with them because I dont want to burden my family.
So AITAH in this situation?
**TL;DR:**
I accidentally left a trail of crumbs after opening a damaged package. I tried to clean it up, but my mom got irritated and said the cleaning lady would handle it. When I still wanted to sweep so my grandma wouldn’t see the mess, she got mad, told me " you just don’t like being told what to do" and slammed her door. I’m already emotionally overwhelmed, but this situation felt weird. **AITAH?**
NTA. Your mum’s reaction is NOT normal, don’t second guess yourself. Leaving a trail of crumbs for a whole day because someone will clean then?? Wild.
I sweep daily anyway…
Basically she swept some of it but there was more on the ground and she told me to leave it which bothered me. I got frustrated because me trying to help with something is being taken wrong. I also made dinner for the day and she told me to put other things away.
I feel like some of the story is missing here. The story seems sporadic and confusing. As it stands, it seems like your mother is probably frustrated with how your father treats her and is directing that anger toward you.
We have gotten away from my dad four years ago however sometimes he still tries to contact my mom about things regarding my sister. I totally understand she’s probably carrying that trauma as well but it’s still hurtful how she acts sometimes.
The writing makes zero sense and tbh annoying
NTA. For whatever reason, your mother is having a hissy fit.
NTA. I don’t know why your mom got so upset with you over something so trivial. I would just try to explain to her that you’re noticing these issues and ask if she is okay, or what is bothering her, in a non confrontational way. Then, maybe she will apologize and explain that it isn’t you she is upset with, but someone or something else.
NTA, but your mom is the AH. The person who cleans the house is not there to clean up after you all. That is so disrespectful of that person, I know it’s “just” crumbs, but it’s the same as not flushing the toilet because the cleaning lady is coming. Is that how your grandma treats her? Does your grandma expect her to literally clean up after her? Because I know people who clean, and their job is to do things like mop, clean bathrooms, clean kitchens, vacuum, dust, and things like that. Yes, they sweep and wipe counters, but do you leave jelly or mayo on the counter to be wiped up by the cleaning lady?