My friend Sandra and I have known each other since university, and we’ve been close friends since then. She didn’t invite me to her wedding because I was single. She said she was only inviting couples, so since I didn’t have a partner, she left me out. I didn’t argue, and it didn’t stop us from being friends. I didn’t react to it at all.
Now she’s pregnant, and she invited me to her baby shower. I didn’t plan to go.
Two days before the baby shower, she called me and asked if I could go shopping with her for baby shower things. I told her, “I’m not coming.”
She asked me why, and I told her, “When you had your wedding, you didn’t invite me because I didn’t have a spouse, so I don’t think I should come to your baby shower since I don’t have a child.” She said, “Please stop sounding ridiculous.” I didn’t want us to argue or go back and forth, so I just hung up the call.
I didn’t go to help her, neither did I attend the baby shower. Three days later, she texted me on WhatsApp and said that I was really mean. Please i want to know AITA?
NTA for backing off from this friendship, but I would have just said “your wedding made me realize we’re not close friends the way I thought we were, so I’m not comfortable doing that.”
THIS. A mature conversation!
NTA. I think it’s pretty mean to not invite you to her wedding simply because you didn’t have a partner. What does that have to do with celebrating her and her spouses committing to each other?
NTA. At all. I wouldn’t go either.
NTA
~I didn’t want you at my wedding because *aesthetics* but you’re totally good enough to invite to my gimme stuff party!~
I think your answer was perfect.
Right like it’s kind of mean but also very funny.
Sounds like OP is already done with the friendship.
NTA. Yep. Baby showers are mostly profit. Weddings cost.
She didn’t think OP was important enough to spend on for the wedding, but is just fine with accepting a gift from OP for the baby.
I would respond to her WhatsApp that she is the mean and thoughtless one, and that I was very hurt to not be invited and understand where I stand now.
NTA – She wants you to spend your money on her baby. If you went shopping with her you would land up spending as a gift to her and her baby.
You two don’t actually sound like friends.
ESH
Exactly. It sounds like op not being invited to the wedding was friendship ending on OP’s end even if she doesn’t want to admit it. If she’s not going to any other life events for the friend because she wasn’t invited to the wedding, then what’s the point of being her friend anymore?
NTA Sandra wants you as a friend of convenience. With the excuse that you gave her you fried her in her own oil. Your response was petty and perfect!
She wouldn’t invite you to her wedding, but was happy for you to buy her stuff for her baby. NTA.
Were you petty? Yes. Was it deserved? Also yes. This is an ESH situation. You are not a close enough friend to go to her wedding but she still wanted a baby gift from you.
NTA. She is just using you for gifts. Fuck her.