My partner (38F) and I (39M) booked a venue for our wedding party in one year and a half, a weekend at the end of june 2027. My brother is complaining it might not work for his kids as it might be during exam period or their internship (Kids will be 21, 19 and 17 in 2027).
The context: We live in Germany, are french, and want to celebrate our wedding in France. My brother and the rest of my family live in the north of France, but we decided for a venue in the south of France, somewhat close to my partner’s family, because the region is nicer than the north of France, and more chance of sun as we want a summer vibe for our party, as there is a pool, beach volley, boules field etc. The drive from my brother’s to the venue is around 9 hours.
For his kids my brother’s would have preferred a date in july-august, but the venue’s price takes a 50% increase for that period, or during one of the long weekend of early may, but then more risk of chilly weather/rain.
I would be sad if some of my nieces and nephews can’t make it, I love them, but I can’t help to feel annoyed at my brother for taking me on a guilt trip over this. I feel this our big day, we want to plan something that feels like us and not have to cater to other’s needs, and we were hoping our closest ones would be happy for us instead of complaining.
Or AITA for not taking his needs into consideration?
NTA – it’s your wedding. If they can’t make it that’s a shame, but you don’t have to cater around them
Nah you’re fine. End of June is not some wild choice, and planning around three different kids’ schedules three years out is impossible anyway. Your brother is stressing over hypotheticals. It’s your wedding, your vibe, your call. If they can make it, great. If not, that’s life.
NTA – it’s a year and a half in advance. They can plan accordingly.
Your brother is being ridiculous.
Her brother is just bringing up the real life logistics of his family life. He is allowed to feel disappointed, but not to harass OP. OP in turn should not expect them to be able to attend. Those school commitments are set in stone.
Set up a Zoom for the ceremony. Share an edited video of the reception party. Hold a family party later when convenient for all.
Not really. Things like exam periods are not flexible to the exam writer’s personal schedules. The nieces and nephews may just not be able to attend.