Just to start out, i’m not sure i’m doing this right.
basically i’ve been with my boyfriend for probably three years officially now and he’s done so much for me. when i was a senior in high school and homeless he would sneak me in the basement. eventually i ended up living with them because of a severe injury i couldn’t survive with just my car anymore. for the first few weeks he was so kind and so helpful to me but it definitely faded fast.
i knew it would be draining to take care of someone basically bed bound and i made him swear he would just tell me when/if it started to annoy or frustrate him. nearly six months later after not doing so he was very upset with the state of our relationship (unknown to me at the time) and wanted two weeks of no contact.
i debated a lot whether i would accept getting back together when the time came or not, but ive been in a relationship i felt a lot of responsibility for and i know how stressful that can be so i agreed to let us try again. we both had improvements we wanted the other to make and our “reunion” went surprisingly well.
however, not to long after i noticed the effort fading.
last week i had a minor foot fracture injury and his immediate reaction was very hurtful to me, he didn’t ask if i was ok or in pain, he just started talking about the bad memories it brought up. and believe me i know those were hard times i had nothing, no independence, no capability, and nothing to offer anyone. i’ve done my best in recovery to just be a normal functioning human but other than the injury, there’s a lot of factors that make that hard.
i’ve recently made a girl friend again and she keeps pushing me that i deserve better.
we’ve discussed the way he acted on my birthday, working on his car and hanging out with his friend and sister leaving me alone and bored in the corner, on my graduation day from school/passing my final test, he just said yay and went back to video gaming, and honestly his reaction to my recent injury was the worst.
i wasn’t upset that he was scared of what it might mean, i understand the fear from what happened before, but i was upset that at no point did he think to offer me sympathy.
even though he’s done such incredible things for me before i feel like i’ve somehow missed the bare minimum, flowers, gifts he’d know i like, taking me on dates, etc.
i guess im just wondering if its wrong for me to stay with him and still be angry about things that seem to small in terms of what we’ve been through.
i love him so much but i dont know what to do with all the dreams of him being different and im afraid its cruel to stay with him whilst thinking about him this way
Is there any more to this story?
i can explain more i’m just not sure what to begin with
I think people might want to know what you have done for boyfriend/the relationship like what are the efforts you have put into the relationship or how often you get him gifts just cause
I mean, there’s always more to someone’s 3 year long relationship. However none of it is relevant to the feeling. If you feel like you are already getting over your partner while with them, it’s probably time to separate.
NTA. Side note, punctuation and paragraphs would make this a lot easier to read. But you’re NTA. It sounds like you got together under difficult circumstances when you didn’t have any other options. Now that you’re doing better it seems to me that you need to keep working on your independence and that this guy is not treating you well at all.
It’s time to move on.
NTA. You’re not to blame for being a high school student, homeless with life threatening injuries. Those shouldn’t be things you had to face.
It was great that he was there for you when you had noone else. But that can be all it is. Your high school boyfriend is someone you remember fondly because he got you through.
Whether the trauma / challenges you both went through were too much, whether you’ve both outgrown the relationship but too much has happened to say that or whether he’s actually not a great guy (not great guys are often attracted to vulnerable people with poor support systems who’s bar for good relationships is through the floor) it doesn’t really matter.
You deserve a happy, healthy life with either a happy, healthy relationship or no relationship. So does he.
It’s OK to be the person brave enough to move on.
NTA. And oh baby girl (assuming, sorry if you’re not a girl/woman, but the vibe still stands lol) please leave that man and try to heal your heart along with your body ❤️🩹
I can’t give the full response I’d really like to give rn, may come back and add more later bc I have a lot of relevant experience unfortunately. Just know your post gave me all I need to be able to assure you: he sucks and doesn’t care to change that so investing further in the relationship is 100% not worth it NOW, and it’s extremely likely to only get worse the longer you stay