So, yesterday I (25NB) had a dance presentation. My mom (52F) traveled from other state to see a friend on Friday, so I convinced her to stay a few more days to watch my presentation. We met Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Monday comes and I present at night, my girlfriend, my best friend and his boyfriend also came to watch me and I invited them to get some drinks with me and the other dancers. My mom invited herself, even though it meant she wouldn’t have a place to sleep. She would crash at my aunt’s place, but she’s pretty strict with the time my mom would come home. Also, mom has close to no money on her.
We walked to the bar in the rain, since none of us had a car and it was a pretty small distance. It’s Monday, so everyone is pretty tired from work and we’re not talking much, except for mom, which I guess made her feel unwelcome.
When we arrive, she tells me something along the lines of "look, I promise I won’t be mad, but if my presence is not that important to you, you can tell me. Because you know I’m creating a problem to myself just to be here". I don’t want her being unable to find a place to sleep, so I reply that, if this is the case, I think it’s best for her to go home. She gets very mad.
She goes to a table far from us to charge her phone (my girlfriend offered to call her an Uber but she refused) and barely said goodbye when she left. Later, I received a message saying I could have told her that earlier, as well as that she stayed longer just to see me and was very upset that her presence was unwanted by me.
I think I might be an asshole because I didn’t thought of telling her to go home before we got to the bar all wet from the rain. My friend and girlfriend are saying I wasn’t in the wrong, but I rather have some unbiased opinions too.
So, Reddit, AITA for telling my mom it was best if she left?
So your mother travelled to the state you’re currently in and was planning on leaving before your presentation. You ask her to stay for extra days to watch your presentation and then as soon as it’s done you send her on her way?? Wow.
YTA. You should’ve let her go home when she was going to. She only stayed extra days because you asked her to. She considers your feelings and what you want but you couldn’t consider her beyond your presentation. The only person you thought of here was you and what you wanted. Smacks of selfishness and inconsideration on your part. What a horribly thoughtless thing to do. If I asked a friend to stay a few more days I would’ve offered to put them up for a night, let alone family. You’re awful.
YTA your mom stayed because you asked her to. She clearly loves you. Instead of spending time with her after she stays to watch you dance, you ask her to leave.
If my daughter ever pulled this, words would be had and feelings would
hurt. You are an adult, act like one and respect the things that your parent does for you.
YES YTAH if you did not want her there you should not have invited her. If you wanted her there you should have acted like you did. Instead you were rude and uncaring to her for no reason.
It’s pretty shitty that you asked your mother to extend her trip to see your dance, then you just wanted to dismiss her immediately afterward.
YTA!!!
YTA. You should’ve communicated this to your mom. Also, why couldn’t she sleep where you were sleeping?
YTA
Hey, mom, stay longer so that you can see me do this thing, but then go the fuck away, because i’m gonna celebrate with my friends..
What is wrong with you?
Hard YTA. How would you feel if you traveled to another state at someone else’s behest to watch a dance performance and then the minute it was over they were like “yeah you can go, good luck finding a place to sleep. Best I can do is get you an uber.” ?
I mean what the actual fuck?
Edit; And your friends sound like dicks too.
Sorry to say, YTA and you need to apologize.
Since you invited your Mom, I would have personally gone out with my mother afterwards, just with her alone.
Forget the rest of the dancers or your friends, I assume you can see them anytime as they live near you , correct?
This was an opportunity for you to spend time with your Mom and I know at your age, friends and everyone else seems more fun/important, but your mother made the effort to extender her trip for you, I think the same courtesy could have been extended to her by spending time and making sure she was taken care of in terms of where to stay, etc.
TBH tho I may have been oblivious at a younger age but let me tell you as you get older you will appreciate your parents more and the time that they want to spend with you.
YTA -you should have gone to hang out with your mom after, not your friends that you can see any time. Why can’t she sleep at your place? Or you both go hang out at your aunts house before you head home.
What did you expect her to do after she only stayed because YOU ASKED her to stay? Horrible horrible way to teat someone you love(?)!!
YTA
So many ways you could have been nicer, more considerate of your Mom. But you were so rude. Before going to the bar, could you have just asked her what her plans were for the night? And figure it out before you all trekked to the bar in the Rain? And, if you thought it was better for her to leave earlier, could you have told her you were concerned about her traveling safely by Uber later in the evening?