Most likely gonna delete this after some time, I don’t like airing out private stuff like this, even more so leaving it out there, but I’m just mixed up right now.
It’s more or less a "are we the asshole" type of deal. Now, I (20M) love my brother (23M) to death, really. We’re close, but when I sometimes get frustrated with his actions. I still live with my family due to some health issues, not proud of it for my age and a lil ashamed but I’m hoping to fix it, but I’m not sure about him. He’s had a habit of staying up all night and sleeping in the day, his recent wake up times has been around 5 to 9 PM. And sometimes he gets mad when people wake him up, but I need to reinforce this point, he does not get mad ALL the time. Only in some cases.
And when all the food was done, every year we say grace. I’m not a religious person but my grandparents can be so of course I do it for them, and I did ask if they were to wake up my brother. But, they said it’ll be fine, since everytime my brother wakes up he doesn’t really eat because when he wakes up his stomach can be a little messy with food. So, we said grace, I think someone woke him up afterwards or he happened to wake up right after, and he was pissed that no one woke him up beforehand. Basically he immediately got frustrated with my grandparents and sort of got angry at everyone, me included, for not waking him up. I said I’m sorry, honestly, because I trusted my grandma’s word, and he still got mad at me saying I should have woke him up.
Now, I understand if I am really the asshole, or we all are, so just give it to me straight and I’ll understand. I genuinely feel bad, but I can’t help but to also be frustrated. We all apologized, which given a apology doesn’t always have to be accepted, but the fact he has such a bad sleep schedule even knowing holidays is my issue. I don’t have the best, because I struggle with my health issues being around my stomach/colon, and it can keep me up, I’ve pretty much been living off of melatonin as I try and get medicine soon lmao. It’s just, I feel like a piece of shit but also mad at how my brother talked to my grandparents, who are the sweetest people to us. And also his sleep schedule. I get it, he has his mental issues with a rocky relationship with our mom (and to be fair I have issues with her too) but like, damn.
Update: He’s not mad anymore he got over it but like, it’s still sticking with me.
NTA. He’s an adult who can control when he’s awake and asleep and presumably has access to an alarm. He also could have asked someone to wake him if this was a priority.
NTA. If he wanted to be woken, he could’ve said something the day before. Even then, you’d need to agree. He could have also set an alarm. His attendance is not your responsibility.
NTA. It’s his responsibility to get himself up. And if he wanted to be woken up for this he should have told you.
He’s an adult, I’m sure your family had an idea of what time dinner would be ready ballpark at least.
He could have set an Allen and woke himself up.
He’s lucky someone woke him up at all to
Eat. It’s not anyone’s job. I know everyone is different with helping in families, but to do nothing at all to help with dinner and having it served to you, should only end in a thank you.
NTA, dumbass should set an alarm
Hes a freaking adult, he can wake himself up. NTA