I (23F) plan to marry my fiance (24M) next year. My dad is very emotionally detached, has always chosen women over his children and belittles me most any chance he gets. My nanna (my dad’s mom) is more like a mother to me than my own mom is. She gave me my first bath, she supports me whenever she can however she can and has ALWAYS made me feel loved with no conditions.
My fiance and I have always wanted to have a smaller wedding with a family gathering after to celebrate us, still keeping it on the smaller side. We decided on having my nanna and his mom at the ceremony and inviting close family to party with us after.
My dad found out he was not on that list and is now upset with us. He just got married in another state and brought my other siblings not even offering me a spot so I figured he would understand. Since I’ve moved out we haven’t been close and I honestly don’t want the drama on our day. AITA?
EDIT***
I would also like to add that my nanna was the ONLY one who went dress shopping with me and when I called my dad to show him the dress we found he hardly gave me the time. He was playing Fortnite and couldn’t put it down for two seconds to look at my dress. He didn’t bother to even HELP get it or to help with anything for the wedding.
NTA. Don’t feel defensive about this: it’s a good decision. If anyone complains, all you need to do is point out that he didn’t invite you to his recent wedding. There’s more to the situation, but you don’t need to go into it. If anyone deson’t accept your decision, you can live with that.
Invite who you want!
NTA, these types of decisions are always going to cause problems that people have to deal with so there is no getting away from that. But you have to decide if relenting and having him there will help your relationship if thats something youd be interested in or sticking to your decision to protect your day is worth some fall out.
NTA. Shitty parents aren’t entitled to being invited to their children’s big life moments simply for bringjng them to life. If you’re not close and he doesn’t support you — neither monetarily nor otherwise — he has some nerve expecting an invitation. If he dares to call you to get on your case about this again, simply tell him what you wrote in your post,
*”Dad, we’re not close and I’ve always found you very emotionally detached. You also constantly choose women over your own children and belittle me most any chance you get. Why on earth would you think I’d want you there at my wedding?”*
*”&\*#&$! Listen to me, little girl! Who the \*\^% do you think you are talking to me like that?!”*
*”See? This is what I mean. Anyway, I have things to do. Bye.”*
Click. Done.
> “See? This is what I mean. Anyway, I have things to do. Bye.”
Love that♥
So he invited your siblings to his wedding but did not invite you? Why should he be surprised not to get an invitation?
Dad, since you did not want me to attend your wedding I did not want to insult you with an invitation to mine.
NTA
NTA it’s your wedding, you’re allowed to have who you want there. you’re allowed to be surrounded by people who actually care for and about you.
NTA. I wouldn’t have invited my father to the opening of an envelope, let alone an event that meant something to me.
NTA. Tell your dad to suck a foot. It’s your wedding, you invite the people who bring you joy. He is not welcome the same way he didn’t make an effort to be a decent parent🤷♀️
NTA, why worry about inviting your father who’s been detached from you and your siblings for so long? He doesn’t deserve to be at your wedding; you owe him nothing. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, your Nana will love being there 💕
NTA. He’s never been there for you, so you don’t owe him a place at your wedding.
NTA. Considering he literally just got married and didn’t invite you he’s in no position to talk.
NTA.