My boyfriend has been begging me for months to let him get a buzzcut. Personally, I hate buzzcuts. I used to not care about them, but a few years ago, I was in a very toxic relationship, and certain things bring up very bad memories. Buzzcuts, unfortunately, became one of these things. Sometimes when I see a guy with a buzzcut in public, there is always a bit of fear wondering if it’s my ex. I had addressed this to my boyfriend, but he told me that it’s just hair and that I’d grow back. I told him that if he did want to get it, I wouldn’t stop him, but I’d be very uncomfortable because of my past. I told him I’d probably be less outwardly affectionate (ex. hugs), but that it doesn’t mean I love him any less. He got very upset at the idea of me getting less distant over a haircut (imo, understandable). Today, he got a buzzcut, and I fear that I am having a bit of anxiety. I told him that i was happy he got to do what he wanted to do, but that I wouldn’t be as outwardly affectionate because the buzzcut gave me bad memories. He is now upset at me because he doesn’t understand how a buzzcut could cause someone so much distress. AITA?
NAH.
But while you didn’t choose your trauma response,
your boyfriend also isn’t an asshole for wanting autonomy over his own hair. From his perspective, he got a haircut he likes, didn’t do anything harmful to you.
The “my body, my choice” slogan applies to both genders.
If a haircut causes this much of a reaction then you need therapy
You need therapy if you can’t handle seeing someone with a buzzcut without having this level of a reaction.
YTA for not handling YOUR trauma and putting it on someone else to change their personal choices to accommodate YOUR issues.