I (21F) have been living with my mom for almost 2 years since moving out. I was going to university in my family’s home country, but due to being so close to the war in Ukraine I came back to finish school in the US. Since school is so much more expensive here I’ve been doing my degree online and living with my mom. I tried working and going to school simultaneously, but my grades got really bad (I’m getting a STEM degree so a lot of studying is required, sometimes 6 hours a day). My mom told me it was okay to quit working and focus on my degree so I did. Around that time I started getting debilitating panic attacks, to where for a good year its been hard to even leave the apartment. Ive tried with exposure therapy and forcing myself out, but that didnt help so I started trying different anxiety meds. Due to the current one Im on, it had given me awful insomnia, so my psychiatrist gave me a sleep med so I wont have to worry about switching anxiety meds during finals season, and after that I could look at trying a different medication since my panic attacks havent gotten significantly better. However after getting on sleep meds it caused me to sleep nearly 11 hours per day. It worked for me because I would just sleep, study, repeat, but my mom didnt like it. She told me for weeks to get off of my sleep meds despite me saying I’d start getting off of them once this semester is over. After weeks though I got fed up of her complaining about it and had my psychiatrist wean me off.
The insomnia I have had is horrific. Im only sleeping every other day, and melatonin etc hasn’t helped. But now my mom gets mad when I feel like shit from not sleeping. Today is where I got really upset. I was able to sleep for 3 hours this morning, and my mom had plans for me to go over and watch a movie with her and her boyfriend. I usually have no issue with that. Her boyfriend is really nice and they’ve been together a year + I get along with his daughter who is around my age.
However, I felt like shit today as usual. I told my mom I would stay home and she gave me the face she makes when shes genuinely upset. I asked if she was mad and she said ‘no just dissapointed’ along with saying she doesnt want her boyfriend and his daughter to think i dont like them and adding ‘(boyfriends daughters name) will be so dissapointed’. But I saw them on Thursday for Thanksgiving, and a few days before. My mom cares a lot about what others think of me, I think its some kind of undiagnosed OCD because she gets very obsessive about the most random things (I also have horrible ritual OCD). But anyways. I apologized again later before she left and I just feel like Ive done something horrible. My mom and I have always gotten along great due to my father being a deadbeat so we only really had each other. I dont know, am I overreacting and overthinking all of this? I just feel like I can’t win since she was upset when I was on sleeping meds, and now is still upset
Hi OP, I don’t think you’re the asshole here, I’m not sure if your mom is worried about you becoming addicted to sleeping medication, but I don’t think you should be listening to her over your doctor, you’re doctor seems understanding and considerate of your life. I think you need to do what’s what’s best for your health.
I have just tried changing meds and it has been a lot of trial and errror and I would not recommend doing this during exam season ..
NTA. Do you know what exactly was you mom’s issue with the sleeping meds? Was it just the meds in general or the length of time you slept? Could you maybe try asking your doctor about a smaller dose that could wear off quicker or something along those lines?
My mom is just kind of weird about medication in general. Im not sure if its an eastern european thing or if thats just how she is
I was on the lowest dosage of sleep meds but it still seemed to knock me out