NSFW for obvious reasons. Nothing in detail, sorry if this is against the rules.
I (18ftm) have two friends I’ll call J(20m) and K(19f) for anonymity. J and K have bren dating since they were 16/15 with a 3 month break between them getting together and now when J turned 18.
About a month ago K was at a party where drinks were involved. J was send pictures the next morning of her sleeping with someone else at the party and broke up with her pretty much immediately after getting the photos.
K came to our group and swore she didn’t want to sleep with anyone at the party but that she was too drunk go know if she actually slept with the guy in the picture. One of our members recognized the guy as a well known player from her school(there’s a few highschools in our city) and that he was the kind of guy you’d have to be careful around. We all quickly came to the conclusion that he may have taken advantage of her while she was drunk because it fit with his character. We were mean to him in our gc but none of us knew him personally or knew his circle, only the stories that were told about him.
We told J about our theory and he didn’t believe us. He called K some choice words and I told him he’d probably regret that if we ended up being right. He said he didn’t care and that she was dead to him unless we could come up with some actually proof of the assault.
Well now we have the proof. The guy was caught sleeping with another heavily drunk woman and one of his friends outed the fact he’s done so before and that K was one of the women he slept with. He’s apparently said some nasty things about each woman he slept with and the friend that came clean had recordings of their calls where he said these things which is being used as evidence against him.
Since the news broke, J has been spamming K, and now our groups since she blocked him, asking if she would take him back. He hasn’t talked to her once since they broke up and now he’s came back to try and get her back without so much as an apology. He’s only been asking for her back, no "sorry I doubted you" or anything. He’s now came into my dms asking for me to talk to her and I so badly want to just tell him to f off and that I told him something like this would happen if we were right. Would I be the ah if I did? Only specifically if I did, no one come for me about how I handled the initial conversation with him.
honestly no, youre not. if he wouldn’t even consider the possibility that his girl had been assaulted (even if he was hurt by the thought of her potentially cheating) then he sucks ass. the fact that he hasnt even apologized for not believing her says everything. NTA, and run far away from this guy. Go support K, make sure shes doing okay. Thats real actual trauma. Also REPORT THE GUY WHO DID IT PLEASE I FUCKING BEG OF YOU
edit: for the people saying that its pointless to tell him, its not. im gonna sound like an asshole here, but HE SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR NOT BELIEVING HER!! i understand cheaters lie- ive seen it firsthand a billion times. But i stand on this for the rest of my life “i would rather believe a false rape accusation then ignore someone who could have actually been assaulted”. You dont have to rub it in his face, but i do think you should bring up the fact that he hasnt apologized, and really get the reality of the situation in his head, because if he truly understood he would be giving K the space she needs to heal
YWBTA. What do you have to gain from doing that? A woman was assaulted and taken advantage of. “I told you so” doesn’t help or fix that. Instead, tell J you are sorry K isn’t talking to him but you aren’t going to get involved and he needs to handle this himself. Perhaps he should give her some space instead of spamming her messages and everything.
They don’t have anything to really gain from it. It would just be reaffirming to the guy that he shouldn’t have been so rash, LIKE THEY TOLD HIM. Seeing as now he’s harassing the friend group to get him in contact with the girl. That wouldn’t make OP an AH. It would be well deserved, to be honest.
YWBTA
Here’s the deal. It doesn’t matter that you’re right. It’s a pointless statement to make that serves absolutely no purpose.
NTA we all know what it is when a person is too drunk to consent.
I assume from “evidence” you mean that the man involved is under investigation? I hope so because I know where he needs to be.
He hasn’t even apologized? Yeah you would not be the asshole.
info: please tell me anyone in this mess of you has gone to the cops with this info? whoever this “player” (criminal!) is they need to be in jail. how many ppl has he assaulted and he is still in high school? Criminals statistically escalate. He will only get worse. Doesnt matter who was right, what matters ia taking steps so no one is hirt by him again.